Flight 5107
by RockinTheOC
Summary: I opened my mouth, showing off the gleaming teeth that would quickly pierce her skin. I saw them shine brightly in the window. My reflection appeared to be exactly what I was…a monster. A plane crash leaves two strangers deserted on an island. BxE, AU.
1. strange and beautiful

_A/N: This is my first Twilight story, so bear with me. It's AU, BxE, and inspired by something that Edward says in a passage talking about what he would do if he and Bella were ever in a plane crash from Eclipse: _

_Edward: I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history. _

_First chapter is BPOV, second with be EPOV, so on. _

_Also, I love reviews! Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the book, not the movie, not the songs or lyrics._

_Rating: M for darker themes and adult content in later chapters. _

**Flight 5107**

_Chapter One: Strange and Beautiful_

I rested my heavy head against the soft cushion and sighed. The brief comfort I felt was a small consolation for all the confusion and conflict I held in my heart. I clenched my burning eyes shut, trying to block out the look on his face when I told him I wasn't going to marry him.

No such luck, I only saw his dark eyes filled with pain and fury, forever searing themselves further into my memory. Figures.

What if I had made the wrong decision? What if I should have just said yes to his proposal? After all, we'd known each other practically our whole lives, growing up almost neighbors, our fathers the best of friends. I had known he'd always felt an unparalleled love for me, but unfortunately for him, I'd also known I wouldn't be able to return the favor.

_Stop it, Bella. Stop thinking about it. It's not going to change the fact that he hates you._

I banged my head back against the headrest. No, I couldn't think about that now. Instead, I would think of the positives. I would think about how in a very short, or not, seventeen hours, I would be in Sydney, Australia. I would finally get to see Angela, one of my best friends from Forks, who was one of the few that was able to escape the confines of small town life. She worked as a photo journalist for some sort of Australian news service which was as far from Forks as you could get. It was so exciting, I'd never been outside the country, and now I would be spending a month in the land down under. Knowing that fact made the circumstances under which I left slightly more palatable.

But only slightly.

I think I had been saving for a trip of a lifetime like this forever, but I just hadn't known it at the time. It was very unlike me, the predictable, safe old Bella Swan to get on a plane and just leave. It's just, when all of this stuff happened with Jake, it felt like the right time to finally get away.

Jake.

I saw the anger rip across his strong features as his once hopeful face crumpled in response to my simple answer of _I can't. _Two tiny simple, insignificant words, but they didn't just mean _I can't_. No, they meant, _I can't...see myself with you. I can't…be with you. I can't…love you. I can't…get married...at least not to you._

He was usually a good actor, able to hide most of his silent pain and suffering, which he had every moment he had to be around me and not have me, but even this was too much. Too much for him, my rock, to bear. He lashed out, angrier than I'd ever seen him, screaming obscenities at himself. Of course, even in his darkest hour, he still was livid at himself and not at me. Further evidence that I didn't deserve to be loved by someone like him.

I could still feel the way my heart thudded in my hollow chest as I watched his quickly retreating figure sulk out of the room and most likely out of my life for good.

"Here is your Grey Goose tonic, ma'am," the flight attendant handed me a glass tumbler as she swished by seamlessly. I tried to smile back graciously, but she had already gone. I sighed and settled back into my way too comfortable chair. I really couldn't believe my good fortune when the ticketing agent had informed me that I'd been bumped up to first class due to an "oversell situation." And to a window seat? Really, didn't that only happen in movies?

So now, I was sitting in what I could only describe as the most comfortable leather chair-bed ever, wrapped in the warmest heated blanket, my iPod earbuds snugly in place. I quickly glanced around the cabin, most of the first class passengers were already seated like myself, snuggled into their makeshift beds, drinking their top shelf liquor. There was only one seat unoccupied and that was the seat next to mine.

Was it wishful thinking to hope that someone really attractive would sit next to me? I'd already been so lucky today, did I really want to push it? Yeah, I did. Whenever I flew alone, I'd always make a silent wish for a hot guy to be seated next to me. And for all of the trips from Seattle to Phoenix and back, you'd think I would have gotten my wish fulfilled once. Just once. But, no it never happened. I was always the lucky one to sit next to the large old men who smelled like stale cigarettes and mothballs. Hot.

I tapped my fingers on the armrest guiltily; I had someone who would love me and cherish me at home in my sleepy little town, but I was still hoping to find a completely random stranger to whisk me off. I'm a total jerk.

Once again, I know I don't deserve him.

And this is really the essence of why I cannot be with Jacob. He's great, really great, actually. He's loving and caring, and I know he would do anything in his power to take care of me. But even that isn't enough. I don't want to feel like my mother did so many years ago. I don't want to feel like a caged bird, stuck in Forks for the rest of my life. And that is exactly what would happen if I married Jacob and stayed behind to pop out a bunch of kids and work my nowhere job as a clerk in the hospital. That's what happened to most of the girls who got paired off in high school to their future husbands. Call me crazy, but somehow I knew that life wasn't for me.

Add that to the fact that I am vehemently against marriage in general. I mean, I didn't have the best example in my life growing up. Charlie and Renee were civil and all, but only because the distance and their only commonality--their daughter--forced them to be that way. Maybe in a few years I'll think differently, but for now, for the twenty-four year old Bella Swan, marriage is out.

At last the line of passengers trickled down to none. Maybe the seat would be left unoccupied. I guess I couldn't complain though. It was better than the other alternative who always got seated next to me- the flirty, greasy older guy who got too drunk and got too friendly. I shuddered at the thought.

Just then a lean, but still well proportioned guy about my age rushed onto the plane. This was definitely looking like a good sign. Dark, wavy hair, pale skin, glasses.

_Please, please, please let me get what I want…_ The words to a familiar Smiths tune filled my head.

The guy smiled shyly at me…_hello to you, too_…then made his way to another seat several rows behind me. I exhaled sharply, eliciting a stare from my neighbor across the aisle.

_God, you are too cruel_.

I shut my eyes once again, my lids heavy with fatigue. My mind was still cluttered with all of the events that had transpired only two days earlier, even if I'd had a little bit of distraction in the past few moments.

I was aware of some stirrings beside me, but I couldn't fight off the urge of sleep. It had been hard enough the past two nights, and I wouldn't fight it now.

------

"Ma'am? Ma'am?" I shifted in my seat as I became aware of something shaking me gently. My eyelids fluttered open and I stared blankly at the flight attendant, who was starting to look annoyed. "You're going to have to turn off all portable electronic devices prior to takeoff. I'm going to straighten up your seat now." She enunciated slowly like I was mentally handicapped as she reached over and expertly pressed the button.

I blinked back the sleep from my eyes and cursed myself for falling asleep before the flight. Now how was I going to pass the time for seventeen hours? I sighed loudly, resigned to the horrible movie selection I'd already thumbed through on the touch screen.

I heard a soft snicker next to me. My eyes snapped to the figure sitting next to me.

My breath hitched in my throat as a jolt of electricity ran down my spine.

Oh. My. God.

These were the only words that came to mind when I saw him. Sitting next to me was the most gorgeous specimen of man I'd ever seen. Cliché, I know, but well deserved. He ran a hand through his unruly bronze hair, the rich warm color a stark contrast to his glowing alabaster skin. I'd never seen anything as breathtaking, and I still wasn't sure I could find the words to describe it accurately in my mind.

Oh. My. God. That wasn't even the most stunning part of his features-- no, that distinction belonged to his eyes, mere words could not do them justice. They were an amber, dark gold hue framed by a thick forest of lashes. They were so striking, so deep that I had to pinch myself to stop from staring into them. I tore my stare from his eyes, which was a more difficult task than one would think, and tried to furtively look him over. His statuesque figure was so still and rigid, I almost wanted to reach out and touch him to see if he was even real. His lean, yet muscular arms gripped the armrests so hard, I thought he was going to break them right off. The tension in his arms displayed every muscle, every sinewy tendon from his hands to his well developed chest and neck that was hugged nicely by a white collared shirt. My jaw hit the floor.

It wasn't even fair how beautiful this man was.

He had to be, hands down the single hottest being I'd ever laid my eyes on. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought so, a gaggle of stewardesses and a few of the stewards had gathered behind the first class curtain to steal glimpses of this Adonis, and they were all whispering and giggling. As if he was hearing every word they were saying, he smiled a big crooked smile and almost choked back a laugh.

I silently rolled my eyes. There was nothing worse than a hot guy who knew he was hot. Oh, but how hot he was. Thank god I looked halfway decent...well at least not as plain as usual. I wore my new distressed caramel knee-high leather boots and a silk cerulean-colored dress with a ruffled (and thankfully plunging) neckline. I congratulated myself on allowing my best friend Alice make me go out and buy new clothes for this trip.

"This is your First Officer Jack Barnes from the flight deck, welcoming you to flight 5107 to Sydney, Australia. We will be taking off here in a few minutes, and we'd really appreciate it if you could listen to the nice presentation your flight crew has for you here in a few moments. Flight time should be approximately sixteen hours and fifty minutes en route to Sydney, where it is currently fifty-three degrees. Sit back, enjoy the flight and thank you for flying Pacific Air."

The fasten seat belt signs flashed and a gorgeous flight attendant sidled up to our aisle, in all likelihood wanting to catch the perfect man's attention. It was like she almost forgot her purpose, as another passenger loudly clicked her seatbelt to remind her of her job.

I was as surprised as she was when he didn't even look up at her. Instead, he turned to me and searched my eyes, like he was trying to figure me out.

"Excuse me, miss?" his voice spoke with a musical clarity not of this world. My lungs stalled, not sure of what to do around this godlike creature. Did this guy have any flaws at all?

I glanced back at him, trying to be casual. Big mistake…I couldn't remove my stare from his beautifully chiseled face, visually tracing a line over his strong jaw to his prominent cheekbones. This guy had to be some sort of male model right? I cursed myself for not paying attention when my friend Alice was chattering on and on about different models. I cursed myself for belittling her extensive knowledge of fashion. I would never doubt her again…

I realized that he was still looking at me, imploring me to answer him. Remember your words, Bella. I tried to muster out a sexy voice, but all it came out as was a squeak, "Yes?"

He smirked at my progressively flushing cheeks, and I felt my body liquefy in response. "Sorry, but you have a little bit of something under your lip." My eyes widened, as I covered my mouth, rubbing furiously at my lips. He lightly chuckled to himself, and I hated him in that moment.

He had pointed out my drool. Could a hole just open up in the floor of the plane and let me die in it?

I turned away quickly from him, stricken with embarrassment. My face was no doubt beet red now, it already felt insanely hot, and it wasn't making matters any better that I was starting to slowly hyperventilate. The only good thing to come from my overactive breathing was that fact that it tuned me into fact that he wasn't really breathing much at all. It was like he was holding his breath for some reason, and the tension in his muscles was still very evident. He seemed as uncomfortable as I did, but probably not for the same reason. For all I knew, he was probably cursing the fact that he had to sit next to a drooling freak show.

I shook my long brown waves out over my shoulder, trying to make my hair look less of a brambly mess and possibly trying to make myself look more appealing.

He shifted suddenly in his seat, holding his head in his hands and tugging at that perfectly askew bronze hair. It looked like he was whispering something to himself very quickly, like an internal pep talk, but he was talking at such a low cadence that I couldn't make out any words at all. He rubbed his nose, plugging it for a few seconds. I sniffed the air, I couldn't smell anything putrid…was it me? My forehead wrinkled in mortification as I surreptitiously snuck a whiff of my hair. Nope, still smelled like my favorite strawberry shampoo. His eyes remained clenched shut, almost like he was experiencing a great deal of pain. What was this guy's deal?

"Are you okay?" I asked timidly. He nodded silently, closing his eyes. "Do you just not like flying?"

"Yeah, something like that," he answered gruffly. I took this as a sign to leave him alone. The flight crew had other plans though as a parade of flight attendants hovered over him.

"Can we get you anything Mr. Cullen?" He shook his head without even looking up, but it looked like he was trying to disguise a wide smirk…like he was in on a secret that no one else knew. He opened his beautiful golden eyes, and I watched, enthralled, as he stared at her face so stiffly I thought his neck was stuck in that position. Her nose scrunched up as she shifted from one foot to the other. I looked over at the too blond, too buxom stewardess and gaped at the several buttons that had somehow come undone on her blouse. She was obviously trying to get him to notice her ample, albeit plastic tits, but he only smiled at her while not breaking eye contact.

She huffed off, deterred by his silent rejection. He sniffed back a laugh and settled back into his prior position, hands gripping the armrests.

"What's so funny?" I asked, amused at the spectacle. Was first class always this entertaining?

"What?" he asked, looking at me in surprise. His forehead scrunched as he stared into my eyes, making me immediately look away. There was a questioning look in his eyes, and the way he kept my gaze for so long, it was like he was trying to get into my thoughts or something.

No, this wasn't awkward at all.

"I just wanted to see what the joke is…you seem to be more in tune to what is happening than I am."

He snickered, lowering his voice so that only I could hear, which for some reason unbeknownst to me really excited and enthralled me. "You are…very perceptive," he spoke slowly, but firmly. "Well, right now, the blonde is lamenting the fact that I didn't stare right at her chest when so much was on display." Damn, he did notice…pig! "She is chalking my response up to the fact that she thinks I'm gay. But in reality, I'm just not into women who throw themselves out there for the taking…it's rather gauche and appalling to me. I'm more into the thrill of the chase…and anyway, I prefer brunettes," he stated triumphantly, causing my cheeks to redden with fire.

Oh. My. God.

I smiled back, then put my earbuds back in, trying to refocus my breathing in slow and deep breaths. What was he trying to make me do, asphyxiate? He tilted his head towards mine and looked like he was trying to concentrate very hard on something, but after a bit, he turned his body from mine, almost perching on the seat so as to be as far from me as possible. This guy may have been super sexy, but he was definitely creeping me out a little bit.

His grin widened momentarily before his lips crushed into a grim line. A very handsome steward appeared next to his seat, smiling a little too widely. He placed his hand casually on my beautiful seat partner's shoulder and leaned down, "Can I get you a drink, Mr. Cullen?"

In a swift move, he shook the flight attendant's hand off of him, drawing a confused and almost shocked glance. "No thank you, but if you could bring my beautiful friend here another," he paused to sniff at my drink, "Grey Goose tonic, I bet she would really appreciate it." He stared at me, his eyes penetrating mine, imploring me to go along with him.

"Yes, I would really like another, thank you." I sputtered, had he just said I was beautiful? The poor rejected fellow shot me a dirty look before heading back to the galley. My neighbor turned to me and winked, sending my heart into an erratic rhythm. The edges of his perfectly-shaped mouth picked up as if he could hear. How was he doing that?

"That was very awkward, even for me. Thank you for assisting me…" he trailed off, waiting for me to fill in the blank.

"Bella, Bella Swan," I stammered almost incoherently.

"Well, Bella Swan, I am Edward Cullen. It is nice to meet you." His voice was like rich velvet. I reached over to shake his hand, but he abruptly shut his eyes and did not open them. Mixed signals much?

"It's nice to meet you, too Edward…even if you're trying to get me drunk," I muttered under my breath. He smiled, his eyes still closed.

In a flash, a new drink appeared in front of my face. I looked up in appreciation, but the steward just looked bored and annoyed. I grabbed the tumbler, but was shocked at how cold the glass was, letting it slip from my outstretched hand and into the lap of one very sexy Edward Cullen.

"OH! My God. I am so sorry, Oh my God!" I jumped up out of my seat to help clean him off, smacking my head right into the overhead console. "Oh, fuck, shit! I'm sorry, Oh God…"

"Ma'am, you're going to have to stay seated with your seatbelt fastened until we reach cruising altitude and the Captain turns off the fasten seatbelt sign," the steward drawled slowly, scoffing at my own personal hell.

Edward looked at me with an extremely smug and bemused expression. The flight attendant fought off giggles as he ran to get some towels. I reached down and dabbed at his legs with a napkin, trying my best to not approach any of his nether parts--that would be way too mortifying. Although really, that this point, what last shred of dignity did I have left?

"I am so sorry, Edward, I am such a klutz." He reached out and took the napkin from my hand, letting his fingers brush over mine sending another shock through my body. Shit, I must have dropped the drink on his hands, they were ice cold.

"That's quite alright, I'll get that spot. Thanks." I winced in pain, and his face etched with concern. "Are you alright? You hit your head…"

I rubbed the back of my head, finding the tender spot. "Ow. I think I drew blood," I lamely replied.

His features immediately turned dark. "No you did not." He said this so forcefully and with such a harsh tone. I couldn't figure out why. He exhaled slowly as if he were trying to avoid breathing again. I glared at him, silently imploring him to say something. He didn't.

The lights in the cabin flickered off as we glided through the sky. I looked out the window at the expanse of vast ocean beneath us. I leaned against the window and sighed. I stole a glance at Edward, who once again had his eyes closed but was not sleeping. I could tell by the prominent lines etched on his forehead. He looked so conflicted, yet so at ease. Again, not fair.

I turned up Robert Smith's silky voice on my iPod and hoped that maybe _he _would be able to lull me to sleep.

--------

I felt a cool breeze run through my hair. I was in Forks, in the wooded area next to Charlie's house. It was dark, and I couldn't see but I could feel another presence in the forest with me. I turned around and around until I saw him standing in the clearing. Jake. I took a step towards him, but he seemed to only be pulled further away from me. Fat drops of warm rain plopped onto my skin as I quickened my pace, not caring if I tripped or not. I would make it to him, if it killed me. He had to listen, he had to know.

"Bella!" I heard the musical voice float through the trees to my right. I turned quickly, trying to locate the exact position of sound, but I couldn't see anything, or anyone. I glanced back over my shoulder at Jacob, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Jacob? Jacob, where are you? I'm sorry! Don't leave! Please stay with me!"

"Bella!" I tried to make my ears locate where the voice was coming from, but the rain was starting to dampen not only my body, but also the sound. I felt another wave of coldness come over me, and I braced myself as he appeared out of nowhere in front of me.

"Edward," I breathed his name slowly, afraid he would de-materialize as quickly as he had appeared. I reached around his taut body, capturing him in my arms and not letting go.

"Don't worry, it'll all be okay. We will be okay." He leaned in and placed a soft, frigid kiss on my forehead before resting his head in my hair.

My eyes snapped open and looked around the cabin. Everyone else seemed to be sleeping. Well, everyone except Edward, whose honey hued eyes danced in the dark.

He practically turned into the Cheshire cat, showing off rows of perfectly gleaming teeth. "Bad dream?" his voice was low and sultry.

I huffed, "Confusing." I fanned myself, suddenly feeling very warm.

"I bet. Was I very good?" he grinned stupidly.

My eyes widened in horror and my mouth gaped open, "Excuse me? That was not a sex dream, not that it's any of your business…" My chest rose up and down angrily, and in the corner of my eye, I could see that the blush had made its way down to my breasts. Just fucking great. I was definitely at least fourteen shades of crimson at this point. I knew I was a sleep-talker, I just didn't think it was that bad.

"Well, it actually does concern me when my name is being called out by a beautiful woman. Not, that I'm not flattered though, sweetheart. I can promise you that I'm probably better than you were imagining though…" My heart once again fluttered at his use of a term of endearment and at his suggestiveness. What I would give to see if he could make good on his promise. Stop that, Bella, you're going to give yourself an arrhythmia. As if he had a mental stethoscope, he smirked. "I have a question though, who is Jacob, and why was he present during our intimate moment?"

I rolled my eyes in response, and his eyes clouded over with an emotion I could not discern. "In all seriousness, Bella, who is Jacob, you seemed very upset."

I bit down on my lip, causing him to sharply inhale. "No one." He was also perceptive in my unwillingness to talk about that subject, and he left it alone. "How long was I out?"

"About three hours…and you were having your way with me for about an hour of it."

I meant to smack him lightly in the arm for that comment, but it was like punching a brick wall. No, it was more like being struck by lightning…this shock pierced my insides like I was suddenly thrown into an ice bath. I admit that I was curious as to how it would feel to just touch this stranger that I would most likely never see again after this flight. I guess I know why they say curiosity killed the cat, when I felt my fist turn into a raging fire. "Fuck!" I waved my hand as the pain smoldered through my knuckles.

"Oh shit, sorry, but you shouldn't have done that. I uh…work out a lot. Now, does trouble follow you around or is this just a really, really off day?"

I couldn't disguise a laugh, "I wish I could say it was an off day, but unfortunately you're sitting next the world's worse coordinated person ever. Everywhere I go, bad luck seems to follow me, too. Sorry." I shrugged playfully.

"Actually, I'm feeling pretty lucky myself right now," he brushed a few strands of hair away from my face and if I weren't already sitting down, I would have fallen. My chest felt tight, and my body was numb from the excitement. He had such a spell over me, and he didn't even know it, did he?

My stomach grumbled a long roar which made him smile. I could not stop completely embarrassing myself in front of this stranger, could I? At least I made this glorious man smile. As if on cue, a different stewardess appeared with two trays, which honestly smelled delicious. She patted Edward's arm gently and leaned over him to set my tray down in front of me, giving him and me a great view of her "assets."

They were really actively recruiting him for the mile high club, weren't they?

"Enjoy," she said huskily.

He chuckled. I looked over at him, and he held up a napkin that said, _Stacey, 555-588-2935, call me sexy. _He balled it up and tossed it onto the tray. "I'm sorry, this is so much more worse than usual. They are really laying it on thick tonight."

I snickered at his words…so this was the usual for him. Of course. "So are you supposed to call her sexy or is she calling you sexy?" I murmured poking fun at her lack of adequate punctuation, yet slightly put off by her gall. I uncovered my tray and marveled at the size and juiciness of the steak on my plate. God love first class. I didn't look up from my food.

"Ha, a stickler for comma usage. Nice." I gave him a shy smile, at least he was intelligent. They didn't make many mortals like him. I suddenly felt the urge to talk to him, to get to know him. I wanted to know all of him. He was a stranger, but something about him made me think he was important to me somehow.

"I was an English major in college. I'm a huge grammar and punctuation nerd," I blurted out, stuffing a piece of a warm, buttery roll in my mouth.

He didn't uncover his plate. "Aren't you going to eat?" I asked, feeling very subconscious and a bit like a pig.

"I ate before. You're welcome to it, if you'd like," the corners of his mouth curled upwards, "you seem to be enjoying it much more than I probably would."

"I might hold you to that, I love meat. Especially when it's like juicy and rare. Like, bleeding rare. It's the best."

He looked at me with a pained expression. "That's funny," he said flatly, not meaning it at all.

He placed earbuds back into his ears and leaned his chair back so that he was half laying down. He looked like a cold stone statue, and in this position I finally was able to appreciate fully what he was wearing. I suppose it was a testament to how beautiful his face was that I hadn't even noticed he was wearing a crisp, tailored black suit with a somehow unwrinkled white oxford shirt and skinny black tie. Where was he going, prom?

He most likely felt my gaze wander down his body because he stiffened and clenched his fists together into two stony balls of fury. I wondered what he was thinking about, what was making him so uncomfortable. It couldn't be me, I mean, we'd had a normal, nice conversation.

I glanced at his iPod, having the intense urge to know as much about this beautiful man as I possibly could. I only had sixteen hours to work with, and I'd already wasted four, sleeping.

"What are you listening to?" I asked innocently, trying to peek.

His eyes snapped open in amusement. His eyes betrayed his smooth and cold exterior because they flickered with excitement. He held out his iPod for me, and I read the title in shock.

"What's wrong?" he asked, the concern evident in his voice.

I pulled out my iPod and showed him the song I was on before we started dinner, or rather before _I _started dinner.

"Clair de Lune. What are the chances?" he said incredulously.

"Seriously, no one our age knows Debussy," I grinned and was met with the most beautiful laughter I'd ever heard.

"You are right, no one our age," his voice faltered, but he made a quick recovery, "You're very interesting Bella Swan. Usually time…on planes…moves very slowly for me, but this flight has not been boring, not by a long shot." He ran his long fingers through that hair again, mesmerizing me. "Bella, I'm absolutely fascinated by you. You are devastating to me." I stared back in absolute shock and resignation.

I think my heart just stopped.

He continued, ignoring my alarmed expression, "The way you sigh and talk in your sleep, the way you are too clumsy for your own good, they way you nervously bite at your lip when you ask a question. It's all very endearing."

Once I found my voice, I started slowly, "I'm slightly frightened that you have noticed all those things about me. People who have known me my whole life aren't that perceptive." I immediately thought of Jacob and the disappointment must have flashed across my face.

"Frightened?" an intense look flashed in his eyes.

"Frightened," I confirmed. It _was_ scary, how he was so perfect. It was so painful and frightening to feel how inadequate I was next to him.

"Maybe you should be," he huffed. "So, are you going to Sydney for business or pleasure?"

"A little bit of both, actually." I was relieved he changed the subject. I was desperately hoping he wouldn't stop talking.

"What, some commas need saving from ruthless grammatically poor villains?"

"No, but that would definitely make things more exciting. I am sort of a writer, but I sort of don't have any options for a job in Seattle. The local alternative newspaper I was working for caved, and I had to move back to my dad's house and take a crappy job as a receptionist at the hospital in our town. My friend is a photojournalist in Sydney, and she was hoping to find me some opportunities there. But, mostly I'm just visiting her, haven't seen her in ages."

He looked at me with a wistful expression. "What about you?" I continued, "Are you going to break all the hearts in Sydney when you turn all their women down, too?" I was surprised at my bravado, where was this coming from?

"Actually I came from a meeting, which is why I am dressed like this, and I am headed to my brother's wedding. He and his fiancée literally live in the outback."

"Wow. What do they do out there?"

"Oh, I don't know, hunt animals or something," he stated with the slightest hint of irony.

"Well, congratulations to your brother."

"Thank you. Well, tell me Miss Bella, are you married?" His eyes sparkled even in the dim light of the cabin.

"Oh hell no," I hadn't meant it to come out that strongly, but it did.

He frowned, "You say that like it is a horrible thing."

"Oh, I know it's not, but it's just not for me…and I'm not sure why I'm telling a stranger this."

"That's okay," he brought his head dizzyingly close to mine, "I won't tell your secret." I inhaled his scent. It was the most pleasant, aromatic smell I'd ever come across in my entire life.

A beautiful redhead came by and snatched my used plate from me, scowling at me in the process. Edward had to contain himself from laughing.

"Wow, that was not very nice," I laughed.

"Yeah, they don't like you." he said bluntly, "Because I'm talking to you and not giving them the time of day. Sorry."

"Wow, if trouble follows me, women and some men must follow you everywhere."

"Well, yes, I have to beat them off with a stick sometimes. It all comes with the territory, but Bella, I would much rather hear more about you. Tell me where you're from…"

"Phoenix originally. I actually have lived in Forks, Washington for the past ten years though. I think that explains the whole anemic look better." I rolled my eyes at my awful attempt at humor.

"I rather appreciate your pale skin. It is breathtaking. It looks like porcelain…you look utterly breakable," he almost growled. I know I should have heard the edge of danger in that statement, but all I could comprehend was _breathtaking_. I'm not sure anyone has ever used that word to describe me…ever.

I'm not sure how long we were talking, but it seemed like we hit almost every subject, except one notable one, in the life of Bella Swan. From Alice to Zoolander (my favorite movie, he really liked my Blue Steel), he kept questioning me, wanting to know even the most minute details of my life. It was like he was trying to absorb as much information as he could in our short time together. I tried to ask him about his life, and was able to glean some details about him--like the fact that his older brother was Emmett, and his future sister in law was Rosalie, and they had known each other for "many, many years." He had another brother, Jasper, who was a quote "free spirit" and hadn't quite found his way in life yet. His father, Carlisle, was a surgeon, and his mother Esme was a homemaker. He and his brothers ran a some sort of consulting firm together, even though Emmett had been living in Australia for the past five years and Jasper had been all over the world. The details were not very detailed at all, and he was always quick to redirect the conversation to me. I was flattered, but frustrated all at once.

I sighed audibly. Edward looked at me in mid question, "You seem frustrated, Bella. Are you getting tired?"

I shook my head, but could not shake off a huge yawn. "No, keep talking, I want to know more." I was desperate for any information I could get…I didn't want this to be over yet. If I fell asleep now, when I woke we might already be in Sydney, and I would lose my chance. I forced myself to try to look fresh and awake, and marveled at the fact that he didn't look even the slightest bit tired.

His lips smashed shut. "Sleep now, Bella. We'll have time."

My eyes drifted shut upon hearing his encouraging words. I hoped we would have time. It was a little stupefying and a lot scary for me, but I honestly felt a warmth I'd never felt with anyone else in my life. I think I was in love and I didn't know what to do, but sleep. I flickered my eyes over him one last time, trying to remember the exact way his mouth made my favorite crooked smile, the way the bronze glinted in his hair, the way his ocher eyes dazzled me.

Right before my mind drifted off to a dream world where I would no doubt dream of him, I swear I felt him lean down and whisper, "I have never had such a strong connection with anyone in my life and I will not lose that, not even if I have to keep you for myself."

All I could think about was how I wanted him. How I wanted to be apart of his life, and how I wouldn't be able to go on if he wasn't apart of mine.

* * *

_Inspired by: Lullaby by the Cure, Close to Me (The Cure cover) by the Get Up Kids, These Dreams by Heart, Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung_


	2. this fight he cannot win

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who read the first chapter and for the reviews. I'm working on the next chapter, but it's my birthday on Valentine's Day, so we'll see if I get it done. This chapter is all from EPOV, so enjoy and review (reviews make great birthday presents)!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the book, not the movie, not the songs or lyrics._

_Rating: M for darker themes and adult content in later chapters. _

**Flight 5107**

_Chapter Two: This fight he cannot win…_

EPOV

I don't know what is wrong with me. Well, okay, I know what is wrong with me, but I don't know why in this moment, after 90 years of being what I am, I have faltered.

And in a big way.

_You can't do this. Think of everything Carlisle has built up. Think of what this might mean for the family. _

I have always prided myself on my strength. Not only physical, but mental. Others in my family have given into temptation here and there, well, except Carlisle, but I haven't in many, many years. But here in this moment, on this plane, I have never wanted to drink the most delicious of wines, this insignificant creature's blood, more. I know it is because of this girl, this wily character brought straight from hell to torture my soulless body. It is a test from the devil, of which I am sure. It's a test to see how strong I really am. And sadly, I think it is proving that I am seriously lacking in will power and resolve.

As soon as I laid my weary eyes on her, it was like something inside of me clicked on for the first time. Her fragrance hit me like a shot to the heart…if I had one. I actually think I almost felt alive for a minute there before her scent struck me down in agony. I hadn't felt pain like that in almost a century. It was so real, so raw and wounding to my senses. The only thing I could describe her fragrance was that she smelled…like innocence. She was pure and whole and everything I was not.

And then just as suddenly, hatred for her existence coursed ruthlessly through my body. She was my ruin, my destroyer. I dreamt of a million ways to kill her. She was unbelievable, and it was unbelievable how frightened I was of her. I had never felt this way since the transformation, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I was an animal. I was a newborn again.

Who was this temptress?

Her long dark tresses touching her luscious pink lips were enough to drive me insane, but of course that wasn't the end of her beauty. Her milky white skin looked so much like mine, I was almost hoping she was like me…but I quickly discovered that she wasn't. She couldn't be…not with that essence coming from deep inside her, pulsating through those arteries. My nostrils burned as the most basest of my desires took over. The bitterness of my venom teased the back of my throat as I forced a swallow down hard. I squeezed my eyes shut, not allowing myself to stare at her, but to no avail. All I could imagine was the snap of her vulnerable neck as I bit into the purest of flesh…the look on her face as she could feel my hot poison seeping through her skin…the contortion of her features as the pain struck her body. I wanted to take her. I desired her. I craved her. I could have her if I wanted, she was asleep, she wouldn't even know until it was all over. God, help me. Someone, help me. The thirst…the bloodlust…too much to bear.

Almost too much to bear.

_Get a hold of yourself, Edward. You are better than this. You have been through much worse to let an fleeting instance of bad judgment cloud your clarity. Suppress. The. Urge. Now._

I was doing remarkably well in spite of the insane yearning for her blood. There was a deep ache in my stomach, just anticipating that first taste. I just kept my fists clenched, tried to keep breathing to a minimum and turned on my iPod as high as it would go. I'm a creature of conditioning and discipline, after all, our family _is_ vegetarian. I've gone this long without a drop of human blood, what was a few more hours? I'd been on many flights before, been around many beautiful women before without taking that first bite. I could do it.

No I couldn't. Not with the angel of my discontent sitting beside me. Her wavy raven hair fell down her back, shrouding her delicate featured face. Her eyes, a deep mahogany, were bright and filled with inquisitiveness. Her dainty nose, her prominent cheekbones, her soft, yet sharp chin with a slight cleft. Gorgeous. Would I draw it out and relish the thrill of the kill or would I make it quick and painless for her?

I abhorred every fiber of my being.

And then fate dealt me a terrible hand by sending that stewardess our way to wake her up and adjust her seat. Her eyes fluttered open, and I knew she didn't have a chance.

_I'm sorry, my beautiful lamb. I will make it quick, this will all be over soon._

Then she made the most enchanting sound, better than any complex musical composition, a sigh. A stupid little sigh.

I was now afflicted, and I suddenly wanted to hear anything spoken from those lips. But what I wanted more was to release some of the tension in my mind. I stifled a laugh in response to her obvious frustration. She turned and pierced me with the depth of her chocolate eyes, boring into my own dull pair. Her plump pink lips parted softly as she took in my features.

_Oh God, she doesn't stand a chance. I have to disgust her. Repel her. _

"Excuse me, miss?" I stared at her, waiting for her to answer. I had to repulse her. I had to make her hate me. It was the only way to save her. I am the world's greatest predator--everything about me will invite her in, from my appearance, my smell, my voice, my ability to know her next move…

And then it hit me. I couldn't hear what she was thinking. Had I been so distressed with my own thoughts that I hadn't even realized that she was completely silent to me? I blocked out all of the various chattering, especially that from the idiotic flight attendants who were falling over themselves behind the first class curtain to catch a glimpse of me. I listened again. No, nothing. I couldn't get any signal at all.

Before I could panic, she replied in the tiniest of voices, "Yes?"

I had to smile in response to the blush that was progressively conquering her face. "Sorry, but you have a little bit of something under your lip." Her pupils doubled in size as she clamped a hand over her mouth hurriedly. I laughed a little bit under my breath, glad that something was distracting me.

She turned her shoulder away from me, hiding her beautifully rosy cheeks from my view.

_Good girl, be wary of me, don't let me in. I'm dangerous. I'm no good for you. _

I had to keep from staring at her long, slender neck. I could just almost visualize the blood flowing into her jugular veins, rushing back to her heart. Oh how that saltiness must taste. My parasympathetics were in overdrive, I could barely hide the fact that I was salivating. A burst of searing pain hit my nose, and I squeezed my armrests as hard as I could without breaking them off. She shook her long wavy hair out making me almost choke on her inviting scent.

_Please stop. God, make it stop. The craving is too strong. Make me stop thinking about killing her. _I kept whispering over and over to myself, not even caring if she could hear me.

I couldn't hold it in, I had to lower my head in my hands, plugging my nose to try and block out the smell. It was burning. The hatred and loathing flowed rampantly through my body. I pulled at my hair to force my brain to comprehend any other type of sensation. I clenched my eyes shut, counting to ten over and over in my head. I had never felt a need this strong, an addiction this painful. Now I knew what heroin addicts must feel like.

My beautiful own personal brand of heroin.

"Are you okay?" she hesitated with her words. She blinked her eyelids quickly, crushing her lush thick lashes together. I was so acutely aware of every part of her being, it hurt.

_NO. Don't talk to me. Ignore me, leave me be. I will hurt you. Please_.

I bargained with myself and with God to please make her stop. I only nodded dejectedly, not wanting to egg her on. "Do you just not like flying?" She kept coming with the questions.

_Please…spare her. Please make her stop. _

"Yeah, something like that," I laced the retort with as much venom as I could muster. Please take the hint.

"Can we get you anything Mr. Cullen?" Fucking shit. I snickered, smirking widely. These flight attendants were incredible, with their vulgar thoughts of how they would lure me into the bathroom. Which gave me an idea of my own. NO. You can't think about taking the girl.

I glared at the blonde woman in front of me, ostentatiously flaunting her too fake and too large breasts in my face.

She grew more impatient, _Why isn't he looking at my boobs? These cost a lot, buddy, the least you can do is appreciate them. Why isn't he looking at me at all? I'm hot, he's hot, like duh! Ohmigod, I bet he's gay. The hottest ones always are. Totally gay, obviously. I mean really, who wouldn't want some of this? I wonder what the captain is doing later… _

Humans had such a lack of originality, they were so banal. I could hear all of her thoughts clear as day and I could only smile at her as she scrunched her nose and hurried back to inform all of her other friends of her revelation. Like I hadn't heard the gay theory before.

"What's so funny?" my angel questioned, looking very smug herself.

"What?" I was shocked that I hadn't put her off completely. This girl was either very stupid or she was a daredevil. I couldn't hide the displeasure from my face as I stared at her, making her break the stare. I tried to retune my hearing towards her, but nothing. I couldn't hear a damn thing. And it was really starting to piss me off.

"I just wanted to see what the joke is…you seem to be more in tune to what is happening than I am," she stated timidly. Very astute, indeed.

I huffed, she obviously was not going to give up on talking to me. Fuck it. I can't deny this anymore. Once we get off the plane, I'll try and get her alone and give in. It would be easy to make her follow me, what mortal could say no to my charms?

Even the great ones fall sometime, and this time it would be me. Sure, Carlisle and Esme would be really disappointed, but I just couldn't take this any more.

I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "You are…very perceptive." Her heart started beating double time which excited me. "Well, right now, the blonde is lamenting the fact that I didn't stare right at her chest when so much was on display." Her face twisted. "She is chalking my response up to the fact that she thinks I'm gay. But in reality, I'm just not into women who throw themselves out there for the taking…it's rather gauche and appalling to me. I'm more into the thrill of the chase…and anyway, I prefer brunettes."

She was so red, I thought she was going to pass out from heatstroke. This was going to be too easy.

_It's too bad it has to end for you, love. The life in your cheeks is incredible. _

She put her earbuds back in place, trying to catch her breath. I tried once more to hear anything that was coming out of her head. But nothing. Of course. Torture. Patience, Edward. I shifted in my seat to be as far from her.

An excited tizzy buzzed in my ear. _Oh my gosh, he _is_ sexy. Ooh, I would love to have some of that_. Oh crap. A male flight attendant hopped up next to me, and put his hand on my shoulder. He grinned from ear, "Can I get you a drink, Mr. Cullen?"

I guess word really travels fast amongst the flight crew. How uncomfortable. I forcefully shook his hand off of my back. I didn't like that. "No thank you, but if you could bring my beautiful friend here another…Grey Goose tonic, I bet she would really appreciate it."

I looked over at her, and begged her to play along. I put my faith in her delicate little hands, and I knew she would follow through.

"Yes, I would really like another, thank you." He shot her a dirty look before sulking back to the galley. She would be rewarded for her loyalty, a loyalty that would probably eventually end her life. I winked at her and smiled as her heart fluttered at an irregular pace.

"That was very awkward, even for me. Thank you for assisting me…" I waited, the anticipation killing me.

"Bella, Bella Swan." _Bella Swan, exquisite name fitting for an extraordinary girl. _

"Well, Bella Swan, I am Edward Cullen. It is nice to meet you." She held her hand out expectantly, but I was not ready to have any physical contact yet. Just the slightest touch and I knew I would fly off the handle. I closed my eyes and held them until I heard her steady breath.

"It's nice to meet you, too Edward…even if you're trying to get me drunk," she murmured softly. As if trying to get her drunk was the only weapon in my arsenal to lure her away…did I look like a frat boy? If only it were that simple. I ran my tongue over the sharp edges of my teeth.

_Unfortunately for you, darling, I can do so much worse. _

_What a little bitch, maybe this guy isn't as gay as Sarah thought he was. _I heard the hostile thoughts of the flight attendant, back to serve Bella her drink. I heard his thoughts right before the drink splashed across my lap.

"OH! My God. I am so sorry, Oh my God!" She leapt out of her seat and smacked her head right into the air conditioning vent above. _Oh please, no blood. No blood. _"Oh, fuck, shit! I'm sorry, Oh God…"

"Ma'am, you're going to have to stay seated with your seatbelt fastened until we reach cruising altitude and the Captain turns off the fasten seatbelt sign," the steward stated snidely.

I could only widen my grin as her eyes looked at me in utter horror and shock. She tried to futilely wipe at my lap, trying hard not to touch me down there, and I had to stop her from dying of embarrassment.

"I am so sorry, Edward, I am such a klutz," she sincerely apologized. I grabbed the napkin from her hand, brushing against her so briefly that had it not been for the intense lightning bolt that surged through me leaving me reeling, I wouldn't have known I'd touched her at all. I had never felt a shock like that with anyone, human or vampire or whatever. It was demoralizing, devastating.

"That's quite alright, I'll get that spot. Thanks," I muttered. Her face crumpled in pain, and I couldn't hide my concern. "Are you alright? You hit your head…"

She massaged the back of her head, wincing slightly. "Ow. I think I drew blood."

I can only imagine that my face betrayed me then as I harshly growled, "No you did not."

_Trust me, you wouldn't be still breathing if you'd drawn blood. _

I had to close my eyes to calm myself down again. I wished Jasper was with me, so that he could automatically dispel the shame and conflict I felt. Well, maybe not, he did have trouble controlling his urges sometimes and this girl wouldn't even have had a chance past takeoff.

Once I was sure she was sleeping, I turned my head and peeked at her, my resolve already shattered into a billion razor sharp pieces. The obsession overtook my strength and I wouldn't fight it again.

So still, so full of rest. What she would look like as I bit down? Would she even put up a fight? I may be a little cocky, a little bit arrogant, but I knew I was enticing her, drawing her to me. Even without hearing her thoughts, I could tell by the way her eyes flickered with lust. I had that affect on people, but rarely did someone have that affect on me.

_Bella. My lovely enchantress. Will you look as beautiful in death as you do in life?_

I looked at her reclining form, appreciating the way her ample breasts heaved up and down with every breath, barely being held in by the flimsy silk fabric of that amazing blue dress. It really brought out the stark white color of her skin. I traced a line along the hem of her dress, following a sliver of skin that poked out from under her dress, just above her knee high boots. Skin leading to creamy, silky thighs. I wondered what they would feel like in my inexperienced hands, how smooth they really were. Maybe I'd bite her femoral artery just to see.

In all of my years roaming the Earth, I'd never experienced the feel of a woman's body underneath mine in an intimate fashion. Sure, there were attractive women who were attracted to me, but either I killed them or I didn't. I didn't stick around to see what it would feel like to be physical with them. Not that women hadn't tried, I mean, as many times as I attended college? Please. They most certainly had thrown themselves at me, but I'd never wanted them like that. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pleased to finally find that I could feel this way about someone…I was beginning to think there was some truth behind Emmett's constant teasing that I was some sort of asexual eunuch-like creature incapable of getting a hard-on for a girl. His words, not mine.

He also never let me forget that I turned Rosalie, _his_ Rosalie, down. The one who was made especially for me. Even _she_ wasn't good enough for me, so who was? Emmett thought he was the love guru or something, but truthfully, Rosalie was and is still kind of a huge bitch. But all that aside, I was starting to wonder about myself. Now I didn't have to…I may not be a human, but at least I am still a man. Esme would be so proud that I found someone in which I was interested. Ironically though, she wouldn't be pleased that this girl, my Bella, would be the source of my eventual downfall.

Because after I was done with her, there was no way I would be able to even look Carlisle or the rest of my family in the face ever again.

_Focus, Edward. This is not the time to think about them. There is a task at hand. You've made your decision and now you have to follow through. _

I really wanted to kiss Bella's petulant little lips, who sat there, slightly parted, teasing me. Well, I wanted to kiss her lips, her hair, her breasts, her stomach, her legs. Everywhere. I would leave no inch of flesh untouched. I wanted to feel her heat, I wanted to hear her pant and moan from her depths underneath me. I wanted to make her shiver with my cold hands, make her shudder. I wanted to feel the pressure of our bodies pressed together, wanted to make her scream in pain and in pleasure. Maybe I would get the chance to touch her, right before…

_No, don't think about it. _

Actually, it wouldn't be very hard, it was like her blood was calling out my name, singing in time to that magical drumbeat of her pulse. Edward. Edward. Edward.

"_Edward."_

I inhaled sharply. Had she just said my name? I listened closely. Nothing. No, it must be a figment of my imagination.

"_Edward…" _she sounded more desperate this time, like she was pleading for me.

There was never a more heartbreaking sound uttered. She was my ruin. She would be the death of me…if I could actually die. I actually wished I could, then maybe she would be safe.

"_Edward…"_ she softly moaned my name again. Was she thinking the same thing I was?

Well, she probably wasn't thinking I would take her life, but maybe the other stuff…

"_Jacob." _Her voice was low and filled with a great sadness.

Jacob? Who the fuck was Jacob?

Her eyes flicked open, and then she blinked rapidly to get the sleep out of her eyes. She searched around until she landed on my amused eyes. She shrank back, surprised I had already beat her to the punch. "Bad dream?"

"Confusing," she sniffed. Her cheeks reddened, maybe with desire? She fanned herself, trying to dissipate some of the smoldering heat.

"I bet. Was I very good?" She was already the end of me, I could afford to be a little flirtatious.

Her mouth formed into a perfect O shape. Did she know what she was stirring up inside me? That perfect, wet mouth. God. Help. Me. "Excuse me? That was not a sex dream, not that it's any of your business…" She was definitely perturbed.

"Well, it actually does concern me when my name is being called out by a beautiful woman. Not, that I'm not flattered though, sweetheart. I can promise you that I'm probably better than you were imaging though…" I spoke with false confidence. And yeah, so I lied. I was already going to hell for what I was planning on doing to her, so might as well go down swinging.

My brow wrinkled, "I have a question though, who is Jacob, and why was he present during our intimate moment?" I couldn't believe myself. What the fuck was this? Was I…was I jealous?

She only rolled her eyes in response, and I knew that she was trying to hide some deep regret. I hated that this Jacob, whomever he was, made her feel that way. Envy and rage swirled together in my thoughts. Now my curiosity was piqued. "In all seriousness, Bella, who is Jacob, you seemed very upset."

She bit down sharply on her lip, and I was so scared she would break the thin membrane. I couldn't hide the audible breath I took. "No one," she stated plainly. "How long was I out?"

"About three hours…and you were having your way with me for about an hour of it," I raised my eyebrows at her, causing her heart to beat itself into a fury.

Her expression changed and before I could even stop her, her tiny fist hit my bicep, causing me no pain at all. Really, it was like a bug bite, maybe? It caused more of a rumble deep down in my core, like a bunch of little needles were pricking me in excitement. She bit down on her lip again, and I could see that _I_ had caused her intense pain. It was somewhat of a turn on to see her face contort like that, but I found myself feeling very guilty for making her hurt. Great, I was a vampire with a conscience. "Fuck!" she cried out.

"Oh shit, sorry, but you shouldn't have done that. I uh…work out a lot." _Nice save, douche bag. Distract her. _"Now, does trouble follow you around or is this just a really, really off day?"

She giggled and shook her head, "I wish I could say it was an off day, but unfortunately you're sitting next to the world's worst coordinated person ever. Everywhere I go, bad luck seems to follow me, too. Sorry." I hated not being able to read her mind. I could save her from other dangers maybe, if I couldn't save her from herself.

She shrugged, and it may have been the cutest thing I've ever seen. I don't know where the devil found her, but she was really doing her job by affecting me.

_I have to touch her. No, I need to touch her. I need to feel her. _

"Actually, I'm feeling pretty lucky myself right now," I reached over and brushed a lock of hair from her forehead and she sat so still, like she was mesmerized. If that's all it took to stun and numb her, my task would be cake. The monster inside me rejoiced as each strand tickled my fingers.

Her stomach growled angrily which made me grin. She was still human. A stewardess with thoughts swirling about how hot I was--really, I did get tired of the inner thoughts of strangers, most were extremely vapid--dropped off two trays of what smelled like ribeye with a light béarnaise sauce. How the hell was I going to explain this? The attendant leaned over me, baiting me to look at her ass. Needless to say, she was disappointed when

I didn't bite.

Pun intended.

She mumbled something then walked away, finally. I rolled my eyes again when I looked down at my tray. I held up my napkin with, _Stacey, 555-588-2935, call me sexy, _written on it. Bella snorted, but her eyes flashed. I smirked at her un-amused expression.

"I'm sorry, this is so much more worse than usual. They are really laying it on thick tonight."

"So are you supposed to call her sexy or is she calling you sexy?" She looked down at her plate, concentrating really hard on nothing particular on her plate. Was that a little jealousy I sensed? Her reaction was invigorating to me.

"Ha, a stickler for comma usage. Nice." Beautiful _and_ smart. Devil in a blue dress indeed.

"I was an English major in college. I'm a huge grammar and punctuation nerd," she shoved a piece of bread in her mouth, as if to shut herself up.

"Aren't you going to eat?" she asked after swallowing her nerves. Her eyes danced around my face, delighting themselves in what they saw.

_Oh shit, what was I doing? I couldn't hurt her. She was so pure, so sweet. So human. _

"I ate before. You're welcome to it, if you'd like. You seem to be enjoying it much more than I probably would." Because I don't like my animals cooked, I like to suck the blood from their still pulsating arteries.

"I might hold you to that, I love meat. Especially when it's like juicy and rare. Like, bleeding rare. It's the best."

If I weren't already as pale as a ghost, I probably would have turned even lighter. Hearing her talk about consuming blood? Someone up there hated me. "That's funny," I bemoaned, hoping she wouldn't notice.

_Stop talking. Save her. _

I put my earbuds back into their rightful place and leaned back. I felt her giving me a once over, and I stiffened to try and distract her from me.

_Stay away, Bella. I beg of you, keep away from me. I will hurt you. _

"What are you listening to?" she whispered.

_You stupid girl. Can't you see I'm dangerous? _

I felt her body move closer to mine, and I couldn't help it. I opened and eyes and looked at her hopeful face. She wanted this as much as I did albeit for different reasons. I held out my iPod and she gasped.

"What's wrong?"

She retrieved her iPod and tilted the screen towards me, her hands shaking.

_Of fucking course she would be listening to the same song as me. It was like she was a special made-to-order girl of my dreams. _

"Clair de Lune. What are the chances?" I shook my head. I couldn't believe it still.

"Seriously, no one our age knows Debussy," she mused causing me to chuckle out loud.

I grew solemn at the thought of the implication me falling for this girl would entail. Falling for this girl. Who'd have thought it possible for me, vampire, to desire someone in a non-vampiric way? To discover that I could lust for something other than blood was scary and exciting.

"You are right, no one our age." I paused, gathering the courage to tell her what I was thinking. "You're very interesting Bella Swan. Usually time…on planes…moves very slowly for me, but this flight has not been boring, not by a long shot. I'm absolutely fascinated by you. You are devastating to me."

Once I started, I couldn't stop talking. It was a compulsion now that I had come to terms with myself and my feelings. "The way you sigh and talk in your sleep, the way you are too clumsy for your own good, they way you nervously bite at your lip when you ask a question. It's all very endearing."

When she finally started to speak, it was slow and soft like the wind had blown out of her sails, "I'm slightly frightened that you have noticed all those things about me. People who have known me my whole life aren't that perceptive."

"Frightened?"

_You should be. I'm the monster your worst nightmares couldn't even dream up._

Maybe she knew more than she let on. For her sake, I hoped she did.

"Frightened," she said this forcefully, and she didn't drop her gaze. This was trouble.

I couldn't go through with this. Not with her. I knew my new mission in life was to be with her, to protect her, to save her. Even if I had to skirt around in the shadows, I would never let anyone hurt her. Especially not me.

_So that's it, the predator falls for its prey. _

"Maybe you should be," I offered dejectedly. "So, are you going to Sydney for business or pleasure?" I eagerly changed the subject, if I could find out more about her, maybe the feeling of guilt of killing her would be too much.

"A little bit of both, actually." She interrupted my inner dialogue.

"What, some commas need saving from ruthless grammatically poor villains?" I teased.

"No, but that would definitely make things more exciting. I am sort of a writer, but I sort of don't have any options for a job in Seattle. The local alternative newspaper I was working for caved, and I had to move back to my dad's house and take a crappy job as a receptionist at the hospital in our town. My friend is a photojournalist in Sydney, and she was hoping to find me some opportunities there. But, mostly I'm just visiting her, haven't seen her in ages."

"What about you? Are you going to break all the hearts in Sydney when you turn all their women down, too?" She said it with confidence, and even she was surprised.

"Actually I came from a meeting, which is why I am dressed like this, and I am headed to my brother's wedding. He and his fiancee literally live in the outback."

"Wow. What do they do out there?"

"Oh, I don't know, hunt animals or something." Completely true.

_What I failed to mention is that they subsist on the blood of animals and if they caught a whiff of you, they'd probably feast on you, too. _

"Well, congratulations to your brother."

"Thank you. Well, tell me Miss Bella, are _you_ married?" I had an intense need to know and I hoped I didn't look as excited as I sounded.

"Oh God no," she spat.

I wasn't expecting that harsh of a reaction. "You say that like it is a horrible thing."

"Oh, I know it's not, but it's just not for me…and I'm not sure why I'm telling a stranger this."

"That's okay," I leaned in and whispered, "I won't tell your secret." Her scent was lingering in the air between us and it was slowly driving me into a frenzied panic.

Another flight attendant swooped in and ripped Bella's plate from her hand. _That's right, Bitch. _Her eyes narrowed in Bella's direction. I almost laughed out loud.

"Wow, that was not very nice," Bella stated with a stung expression.

"Yeah, they don't like you. Because I'm talking to you and not giving them the time of day. Sorry."

"Wow, if trouble follows me, women and some men must follow you everywhere."

"Well, yes, I have to beat them off with a stick sometimes. It all comes with the territory. But Bella, I would much rather hear more about you. Now, tell me where you're from…"

"Phoenix originally. I actually have lived in Forks, Washington for the past ten years though. I think that explains the whole anemic look better," she said dryly, her voice dripping with self-deprecation.

"I rather appreciate your pale skin. It is breathtaking," I know she could feel the longing in my eyes now. "It looks like porcelain…you look utterly breakable." I almost snarled at the thought. I was playing with fire now, but she was a big girl and if she wanted to play close to the flame, then she would deal with getting burned.

I asked her about every minute detail I could think of because when we landed, I would be gone. I would get off that plane, and as fast as my superhuman speed could take me, I would go to Emmett and Rosalie and they would save me from myself. I would deny myself this most delectable meal. I would deny myself the sweetest, aged wine. I would deny myself to spare her life.

She would try to ask about my life, but that didn't matter. I wanted to know about her. Everything about her, so I could hold it in my memory.

She sighed, the etch of frustration evident on her face. I looked at her, attuned to her emotions already even if I couldn't read her thoughts. If only she were a vampire, then maybe we'd have a chance of making it. "You seem frustrated, Bella. Are you getting tired?"

She forced her head to move from side to side, but she could not suppress a huge yawn.

"No, keep talking, I want to know more."

My lips made a grim line. It was over. "Sleep now, Bella. We'll have time."

I almost believed myself.

My eyes never left her face as her eyes fluttered shut. She was amazing. And I know I was in love. For the first time in 115 years, I was in love. And I couldn't have her. What I would do to take a bite of the sweetest forbidden fruit.

_God, you are cruel. _

I marveled at my new found emotion. I was in love.

But even more than that, I was in trouble. Because I had an undeniable need to protect her, but at the same time I was still a selfish being and I wanted her all to myself…forever.

When I was sure she was asleep, I sniffed her hair, letting the delicious aroma fill my aching nostrils. I leaned in and whispered, "I have never had such a strong connection with anyone in my life and I will not lose that, not even if I have to keep you for myself."

* * *

_Inspired by: The Unforgiven by Metallica, Creep by Radiohead, There She Goes by the La's, Alone by Heart, Electric Feel by MGMT, Self-Control by Laura Branigan_


	3. world was on fire, no one could save me

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews and birthday wishes! It made turning a year older actually palatable. And to LivelyLaura, you totally caught my mistake there--I've taken the liberty of aging Edward to 25 years old in this fic, and I went back and changed the numbers in my previous chapters. Keep on reviewing, can we try for 10 this time? They do goad me to write faster. This chapter is still from EPOV. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the book, not the movie, not the songs_

_Rating: M for mature situations and adult themes in later chapters_

_**Flight 5107**_

_Chapter Three: World was on fire…no one could save me but you_

_EPOV_

My inner conflict was eating at me, gnashing it's ugly teeth and ripping its way through my body. I thought of every scenario that I could think of, anything I could do to quell this hunger until I could safely get her off this plane. Her life was now more important to me than my own thirst.

_Yeah, I'm real selfless._

Unfortunately, most of the ideas that I kicked around still ended up in her demise. It seemed inevitable. If I could just get off the plane, everything would be fine. I would just have to fight myself and stay away. I would not lie in wait at the airport until I could lure her into my car with the false pretense of offering her a ride to her final destination. I would not lurk around in the shadows in the alleys of Sydney. I would not follow her scent to her friend's home, break in while she was sleeping and kill her.

No, there would be no human casualties. I would feed immediately and often, suppressing the urge to go back and find her. As many animals as it took, I would sacrifice them for her. Hopefully, in time, I would forget how she smelled, how she looked, how her skin felt against mine. I could go back to living my pre-Bella life.

That's the thing though. Now my life was split into two distinct stages. Pre-Bella and Post-Bella. And I hated the fact that she had that much impact on my existence. My very flawed existence. She was the dictator now, she owned me.

Maybe I would go to Isle Esme for an extended vacation. I could be alone, collect myself, think. Get away from everyone, everything I knew, clear my head. That was a great idea. I would broach the subject with Carlisle when I saw him. He wouldn't say no, not when it was something that would save me from myself. First thing was first though, if I wanted to see him or anyone else in my family again, I had to make it through this obstacle.

The plane lurched slightly, jarring me from my thoughts. Great, turbulence. Somewhere behind me a baby started to cry.

Right on cue, the seatbelt light dinged.

"Ladies and gentleman, please take your seats. The captains have turned on the fasten seatbelt sign."

"Attention from the flight deck, we seem to be meeting a bit of turbulence, so if you could please return to your seats or remain seated with your seatbelts fastened, we'll try to move to a different cruising altitude to see if we can avoid some of the bumps. As always we care most about your safety, thank you for your patience."

I looked over at Bella to see if her belt was fastened…it wasn't.

I reached over to adjust her belt for her…as the plane staggered sharply, buckling beneath us, crushing into an invisible concrete wall of wind. It's sharp motion caused several people around us to be jarred from their seats, their heads striking against the ceiling.

_Fuck. _

The impact caused everyone to snap back in a fierce whiplash. The plane shook and rolled haphazardly, twisting about like a rag doll at the hands of a ruthless older brother. There was nothing controlling our fate now but the furious wind. We were like a stray piece of paper, being crushed and torn up by the intense current. It carried us and rocked up and down and back and forth, dropping and twisting us at it's mercy.

We started to plummet quickly, the wind still pummeling against the body of the plane. I could hear the thuds of bodies hitting the walls of the plane, the crush of bones deafening in my ears. I couldn't even react. No one could. Her body slumped against me as the plane shook. I looked over at her again, forgetting about what I was about to do…

A gust collided with the aft side of the plane, the reverberation striking us with a force that shook passengers from their seats, belts and all.

_No. _

Bella, her body limp, floated out of her seat ethereally, her head forcefully hitting the overhead compartment.

_No! Fuck! No!_

Even in peril she looked completely peaceful. I grabbed her body, still warm, and held her close to me, trying to protect what wasn't damaged. A strange sensation rushed over my body as grief overwhelmed all of my being.

The plane continued to shake and roll, a rumble escaping from somewhere below. A body slid past my seat in the aisle, lifeless from the force of the impact. Our vessel turned abruptly to the left, tossing a flight attendant who was struggling towards her seat from one side of the plane right into a door. Her motionless body slid down and stared coldly at anyone who dared to meet her fatal gaze.

_Oh shit. _

My mind became a jumble of noises, both internal and external. Screams permeated the air. The cries were guttural, crying for injured loved ones, crying in pain, crying for salvation. Fingers furiously typed on their cell phones, desperate to get a signal, desperate to tell the people back on Earth that they loved them.

Just desperate.

The thoughts I heard most clearly were the prayers.

_Please Lord…let my wife know I love her…_

_Oh God, please don't let us die…_

_We're all going to fucking die…_

_If you save us, I promise to change my life, never do anything or say anything hurtful…_

_I wish I could tell him I love him, I wish I could see his face one last time…_

_Take me, but don't take my baby…_

I searched the scene for anything that might help us. A mother lay clutching her screaming child, her head bloodied and drooping. The elderly man in front of her sat still, his eyes clenched, having resigned to his fate. His neighbor, a young woman gasping her last breaths, ran through images of a family she would never see again. Everyone around was starting to give up, but I would not.

My pleads were a little different.

_Please save her…anything, I will do anything, just save her please. _

We jolted again, and a beverage cart became unhinged, crushing the man in the front row. I had to avert my eyes. Even this violence was too much for me.

The plane swept to the right, suddenly changing direction, and out of the corner of my eye, something bright reflected in the window.

Red. Orange. Yellow. Blue. Blazing. Hot.

We were on fire. The flames rose from the wings, smoke enveloping us from all sides. It wasn't just the turbulence, our engines were giving up on us, too.

All three hundred and eighteen of us were just handed a death sentence. We were all going to die.

We were all going down and going down fast.

All around me, I heard all the bargaining, the acceptance, the denial, the anger, the depression--every one of the stages of grief. So this is what it would be like. Death was something I had thought about frequently in the past. I had even wanted it many times during my tortured existence as an immortal. I wanted it because I thought it was unattainable. But I wasn't feeling quite so sure of that desire now that it wasn't quite so impossible.

Carlisle's face flashed in my mind. More than a father to me, he was the loving, caring figure who saved me. I would miss him most of all for his compassion and infinite wisdom. Esme, my adoptive mother…no, just my mother, she deserved that title now, her endless love seeing me through the darkest of times. Emmett, with his strength yet teddy bear like softness, was the big brother I never had, but I always wanted. His jovial personality always lifted my spirits, I know I could have used him right about now. Even Rosalie, we didn't always get along. Actually we never really agreed on anything, but that's what I loved about her. Her pride and dignity made up two of her best qualities.

And Jasper, my best friend. He and I were often left to our own accord, since we were the two unpaired ones in the family. But we often chose to travel the world together, to stave off some of the loneliness I suppose. To say we were a close was an understatement. I knew all of his struggles with this life and the choices we made. He knew of mine. We both had demons, but at least we each had someone else who could relate. I had always admired his intensity and attention to emotions, something I had never really bothered with myself, being gifted with my mind-reading skills. I didn't need to understand or try to decipher meanings in different feelings, they were all laid out for me. I think that made Jasper a lot more complex, and his struggles a lot more real than mine. I'd been able to control myself better than he had, and to him, that meant he would never be able to adhere to our chosen path. So, he broke off on his own. This would have been the first time I'd seen him in almost a year. He was quiet but stead in his ways and it saddened me to think that I'd never get to see if he'd ever grow out of his waywardness.

I would miss them all. If anything came out of this predicament, it would be that I guess I would get to find out if I had a soul or not. Maybe Carlisle was right. Maybe there was hope for our kind.

I hoped he was right.

I hugged Bella closely to my chest…I could still feel her chest move against mine. Maybe it was better that she wasn't conscious enough to experience this horrific end.

Our aircraft started to spin through the air, throwing the already chaotic masses into even more hysterics. The woman beside me wept, and repeated a prayer over and over in her mind. Children screamed in agony, their parents having been injured or already killed. Blood seeped through the carpet, making a sea of crimson ribbons run across the floor. The smell of shed blood was terrific inside me. The lights flickered, our electrical system was finally failing.

We whipped around, struggling to survive a battle that was already lost. The oxygen masks futilely dropped from the ceiling as our cabin pressure started falling. I hadn't noticed, but now realized that Bella's breaths had gotten more labored. I broke the golden rule of airlines and put her mask on first before putting one on myself.

_Please save her._

In a few moments, everything would be lost. There was nothing holding me back now. I kissed her forehead and her hair, willing her to open those beguiling brown eyes. I inhaled the scent from her hair, the sweetest strawberries from the best field. We could be there forever. We could have forever.

I smelled something else. Something saltier, metallic almost. Like rust.

_Oh God. Blood. She's bleeding. _

The wound on her head was oozing warm blood onto my fingers. I lifted a blood tinged digit to my nostril.

I closed my eyes and gave in, inhaling deeply through my nose. Superb blood wine. The bloodlust was tremendous. I could take her here, I could die with a lingering memory of the best moment of my life. The moment where I would taste my Bella.

I opened my mouth, showing off the gleaming teeth that would quickly pierce her skin. I saw them shine brightly in the window. I looked at myself long and hard. My reflection appeared to be exactly what I was…a monster. I took off her oxygen mask, throwing it to the side. She wouldn't need it.

Her carotid pulse thumped right under her sternocleidomastoid muscle. Oh my, how I had imagined this moment. How I had wanted it so badly. I paused right at the side of her silky neck, caressing it gently. I kissed her jaw and then her pulse point.

_Goodnight, Bella._

I lifted my head, ready to attack. My head snapped forward…

"Uhhgdhgd." Her eyes flicked open and widened at the sight of my pouncing face.

"Bella?" I stopped myself, stronger than I thought.

Her chest heaved, taking heavy deep respirations. "Ed…ward?" She moved her hand slowly to her head and touched the bloody spot. Her face twisted in shock and pain as she brought her fingers to her sight. "Uuhh!" she cried out, the tears suddenly streaming down her face.

"Don't worry, it'll all be okay. We will be okay."

She stared up at me, her face displaying a calmness I wasn't expecting. Like she was resigning to this cruel fate. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it, hugging herself closer to me. The pain she must have felt, the confusion. Nothing was shown on her face. Would she have looked like this had I had the chance to end it for her?

The anger seared through me. Was her life that insignificant to her? That she was just willing to lay down and die without a fight? She should be scared, she should be petrified. But, she just looked up at me, her eyes reflecting a life that would never be.

I made up my mind. I was going to save her. She was going to walk out of this alive.

I looked out the window again, trying to see past the blurs of wind and light. It was pitch black out there, as we were likely over the ocean. We didn't have a shot in hell. It wasn't humanly possible, but it's a good thing I am no human. We were rapidly descending and when we hit the water at the velocity we were going, everyone would explode into a million pieces. I knew we would hit fast, it had already been a minute or two since we started to fall.

I picked Bella up, wrapped her up in her blanket and fastened her seat cushion to her. If we could just make it to the water intact, I could let my speed do the rest.

She stared at me with alarmed eyes. I tucked her into my arms, and in a blinding flash carried her towards the front of the plane. She huffed up and down, her chest now making shallow breaths, obviously she was surprised at my speed. She hadn't seen anything yet.

I kicked the drink cart aside with my leg, denting it. If she had any reservations about me before, she certainly had them now. But she, probably stupidly, pulled herself closer to me.

"Edward…" her voice was hoarse and low…and weak. "Your eyes…are black."

I smiled. We were about to die and she was noting the color change of my eyes? "You're okay, Bella. I just need you to hold on tight. Don't let go. Do you hear me? Whatever you do, don't let go."

I pushed through the mess of luggage and bodies to the cabin door with her in my arms. She looked around in terror as she realized the state of the plane. This was it.

I turned to her and saw the hesitance in her eyes.

"Bella, do you trust me?"

She stared, her mouth agape. "Do I have a choice?"

"Just hang on, everything will be okay, Bella. I promise."

I took a deep breath and kicked the door open easily.

"I just want to try something," I leaned towards her smelling her luscious scent as the wind rushed into the cabin. "Be very still...don't move."

I turned to my brown-eyed girl and placed the most feathery of kisses on her lips.

"I've wanted to do that since I saw you."

Her furiously blushing face was the last thing I saw as I jumped.

* * *

_Inspired by Wicked Game by Chris Isaak, Died in Your Arms Tonight by Cutting Crew, Prayer for the Dying by Seal, Break Myself by Something Corporate, One Day Robots will Cry by Cobra Starship_


	4. rescue me before I fall into despair

_A/N: Thanks for all the feedback! Sorry it took a long time to get this chapter up...I'm graduating from medical school in two months, so it's been really busy...keep the comments coming though, I really appreciate them!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the book, movie, songs or lyrics._

_Rating: T to M for language and mature situations_

**Flight 5107**

_Chapter Four: rescue me before I fall into despair_

My body was utterly still as I gradually regained consciousness. I couldn't lift any muscles. They were all weighted down by something. What was it? Fatigue? Was I paralyzed?

In the distance I heard a seagull cawing. It was an encouraging sound even though I'd always hated those annoying birds before now. The sound staved off the panic that threatened my system because their welcome squawking meant that I was alive.

At least I _thought_ I was alive.

My left eyelid opened slowly, regaining power before the right. All I could see were dark blurs. My other senses kicked into gear to compensate. It smelled like Earth and salt. I opened my mouth and immediately spit out the grains of sand that touched my dry tongue. Gross.

My strength started to return. I raised my head slowly. I could only lift it a few centimeters. It felt heavy, like there was something on it matting my hair down. I reached up and touched my head, feeling some soft fabric wrapping it like a turban. It was then that I realized that my head still throbbed like a motherfucker. Deep breath. It took me a few blinks to refocus my vision.

When all was finally clear, I took in my surroundings. It was overcast, like the days after a big storm. The crashing waves of a teal ocean stretched out as far as I could see. I felt the white sand underneath me and saw palm trees dotting the shoreline. I was on a beach, that much I knew. I could see the stretch of shore, and the water was so blue and vast that I momentarily forgot I was trying to place myself. It looked like somewhere I would go on vacation.

But this was no vacation.

I realized why I couldn't lift my head. There was something wrapped around my neck, a brace? A C-collar? I lowered my eyes to see a bent, fabric-covered metal rod enclosing my throat. What the fuck?

I stretched out my hands, trying to push out and push me up. Nothing doing. I managed to roll myself over onto my aching back. Ouch. Every part of me burned with pain. What the hell had happened?

Wait.

_My eyes snapped open as I felt the warmth rushing down the back of my neck. Was I bleeding? I saw his face, inches from mine showing off his perfect rows of glistening teeth. He looked angry and lustful at the same time. He was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. An angel here to take me to heaven, no doubt. _

_O Speak again, bright angel. _

_I forced out a sound to get his attention. His eyes grew dark, but then filled with something…what was it, hope?_

"_Bella?" My name sounded so beautiful when uttered from his lips. If that was the last sound I were to hear on this Earth, I reasoned with myself that I would surely die happily. _

_He squeezed my shoulders, jarring me, forcing me to recover myself. _

_I labored, trying to find air. It was so hard. It was like someone was sitting on my chest and greedily taking all the oxygen for himself. Two visions of Edward danced in front of me, the dizziness was taking over. I smiled, two visions of Edward _were_ better than one._

"_Ed…ward?" I tried my best to make a strong effort. The warmth increased and I reached behind my head to feel the rush of blood over my fingers. I brought the two fingers up to eye level so I could see the damage. "Uuhhh!" _

_God, I was hemorrhaging. _

_My throat suddenly dried as the breaths got more shallow. I'd always been faint of heart when it came to blood. Nausea overtook me and my vision became cloudy with my own tears as my body trembled in his strong arms. _

"_Don't worry, it'll all be okay. We will be okay." _

_The same words from my dream. I felt strangely comforted by them, letting them placate my queasiness. If Edward said we would be okay, then we would be okay. As long as I was with him, come heaven or hell, it would be okay. _

_It didn't matter anymore…death. It was coming, it was inevitable. But if I was with this beautiful being, it wouldn't matter. I would accept it. And I would not fight it. _

The tears escaped my eyes as I remembered. I remembered the screams. I remembered the sight of the corpses littering the aisles. I remembered the flicker of the plane engulfed in flames as we escaped.

_We escaped._

My head snapped up. My de-conditioned muscle fibers twitched back to life as I found myself alone above the raging sea. Edward. What had happened to my savior? "Edward? EDWARD?" My voice was more of a croak than a yell, but where was he?

"EDWARD! EDWARD!" I mustered all the strength I had to pick myself up. Fuck my weary body for slowing me down. My leg had a large piece of black cloth soaked in dried blood tied around it. No matter, I had to find him. I looked around, I was on a beach, and I was the only thing on the beach. I staggered out into the water, letting the warm ocean wash over my injured legs. There was nothing in the water in front of me. I turned around quickly, there was lush green jungle or forest or whatever. No sign of him.

He was gone. He'd sacrificed himself to save me.

No, no, no. NO!

My body shook as the sobs wrecked me, collapsing me into the surf. The waves crashed over my body as I heaved, devastated. I sputtered as I choked on the salty water. He was the only thing that had kept me alive, and now I was alone. The salty sea pushed me back towards the shore, but I didn't want it to. How would I survive without him? I wheezed in and out as the breathing became too much to bear.

"Bella?" I flipped my head up at the sound.

"Edward? EDWARD?" And out of nowhere, he appeared, looking grim and tired. Even with prominent dark circles beneath his eyes and a frown that could break anyone's heart, he was still the most stunning creature I'd ever seen. He wore his now-tattered white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and black pants still. His perfectly toned muscles peeked out from under the shredded fabric…if I wasn't fully awake before, I certainly was now. His clothes were half ripped off, stained with dirt and blood. My blood.

I should have been distracted by the pain, but all I could see was how sexy he was.

His frown turned into a bright grin as he ran towards me, splashing about in the water, sweeping me up into his arms. "Bella," he breathed, his voice husky and raw.

I pulled back from him, looking into his eyes. They were that gorgeous tawny gold color. Funny, wasn't there something different in my memory? "I thought you were dead," I whispered.

He laughed an ironic laugh and I smacked him lightly, remembering the last time I tried to punch him. I looked down at my still throbbing hand. Jesus, it ached. It was completely bruised and there was a makeshift splint next to the little finger. He spoke and drew my attention. "I'm sorry, I brought you to this side of the island because I didn't want you to see…"

"See what?" My stomach did a flip-flop.

"The wreckage." My abdomen made a gurgling noise as it churned.

"Are we?" I started, knowing the answer. He nodded. "Oh." The tears brimmed over in my eyes again. I thought of all those people. The babies, the women sitting across from us, the flight attendants. Of all of them, why were we the ones who deserved to live? Why not the innocent children or anyone else for that matter? I was weeping now, but I didn't care. It was so unfair.

He patted me on the back to reassure me, holding me tightly. "I want to see it," I whispered.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea. It would be too much. I'm trying to clean up as much as I can, and salvage what I can…"

"I want to see it, take me there," I interrupted. He scowled at me, but relaxed his features.

"Okay, I'll take you later, but are you sure you don't want something to eat first? You've been out for two days," he let his fingers trace my cheeks down to my jaw bone. I winced at his touch, it was so cold, but it did feel pretty good since I was hurting all over. He cupped my chin with both of his hands and placed his freezing forehead against my own.

My lungs burned as they begged me not to forget how to breathe. He stared into my eyes, temporarily hypnotizing me, until I realized that something he had said surprised me.

"Two days?" I had no idea. No wonder I was so out of it. "And you just let me?"

"I didn't know how long your body need to adjust to the shock. And I watched you that whole first day. I only wandered away when I felt that you were stable," he paused with a beat of hesitance, "When you weren't screaming…."

He watched over me? That was why I was better now. He had taken care of me. His eyes brimmed with distress. "Thank you, Edward." I took his hands into mine and rubbed circles into his palms, trying to assuage his fears. So cold. I was afraid he was getting sick. Now that he had taken care of me, I would do my best to take care of him. "For saving my life."

He remained silent in thought. He only nodded. He broke our contact and stood up, looking out towards the sea. I hopped up on my good leg and tiptoed to reach him. He looked down, his face was inches from mine as I put the full weight of my body onto his. I leaned into him, waiting for him to reciprocate, but he gently pushed me away.

His eyes looked apologetic, but they weren't enough to wipe the hurt look from my face. Hadn't he kissed me before we leapt from the plane? Or had I dreamt that while I was asleep?

He wordlessly swept me up and cradled me into his arms, ambling across the beach.

"I can walk by myself, you know," the edge in my voice revealing itself. He obviously had second thoughts about me.

_There you go again, jumping to conclusions, Bella. Of course he couldn't want you…not like that. Look at him. Look at you. Yeah, right. Don't be an idiot. _

The rejection hurt more than my broken body did.

"I'd rather you not, the wounds on your leg are still oozing. I did what I could to clean it, but you need to keep it elevated and rested. I think you might have some bruised ribs, maybe even a neck injury. You need to take it easy." I looked down at my leg and realized that it was the remnants of his suit jacket that acted as my bandage.

He stopped at a small area of the beach a few hundred feet from where I had awoken. There were two logs laid out facing a small fire pit. Edward expertly started a fire. He pulled out a fish speared on a stick that had been placed behind a log and held it over the fire. He went fishing while I was unconscious? The smell of the charred fish made my stomach growl…and then churn.

"Oh god, excuse me." I stumbled away from the fire, trying to get as far as I could as the contents of my stomach heaved themselves out of my body. I kneeled down in the sand with my head between my elbows. The stench of the vomit made me wretch again.

"Bella?" Edward worriedly ran to my side.

I gasped. "Please. It just…reminded me of the way the plane looked when we jumped. The burning, the smell of ashes…" The bile rose to the back of my throat as I again released all of the stomach acid that was slowly eroding my body. Edward grabbed the hair that was exposed from my dressing and held it back.

I saw the faces of the other passengers. It was so fucking unfair. Why me and not them? I didn't deserve to be the one to live…wasn't it supposed to be survival of the fittest? I ripped the cervical collar from my neck and tossed it aside.

"I'm sorry." He looked ashamed. His golden eyes were filled with turmoil.

"How would you have known it would affect me this much? You can't read my mind." I snapped. His eyes darkened, and I immediately regretted my words, not really knowing why.

"Thanks for reminding me." Reminding him of what? He turned his head from mine, looking confused and conflicted. I could see the regret dripping off his expression. "Bella, you need to go back to the fire and eat something, you're weak," he kept his voice even, not allowing his disappointment to seep through.

I hated the paternal tone of his words. I spat back, not being able to contain my emotions anymore. "You're not the boss of me. Why can't you just let me be? Why are you controlling my life? You should have just let me die!"

His cheeks stung, like I had slapped them with my words.

"Is that what you want? To be dead?" he snarled at me, his teeth blinding me.

"Just leave me alone." He stood motionless, perfect as usual. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

He muttered something to himself, something that sounded like, "Fuck you."

He let go of my hair and trudged back to the campfire. I could hear the sizzling and crackling of the fish, but I didn't dare to look back. I was being a total bitch and totally unreasonable and ungrateful. I knew that. I was thankful for him, really I was. He was being so protective, and me being me, I just couldn't deal with it. I had always hated when people took care of me. It always felt like I was losing control, and I needed that control to keep myself together.

And now, I was unraveling. Especially with all the emotions running through my head, I was confused and scared. I'd always bottled everything up until I burst and of course, this was no different. I breathed in deeply, trying to make the nausea dissipate. I was an ungrateful bitch. Add that to the list of qualities that would spurn him from me. He didn't deserve my reaction. I would apologize for my behavior and hope that he wasn't too angry.

Eventually I turned around, but he was gone. He left the whole fish behind, and I didn't realize how hungry I was until I ripped into it, finishing it off quickly.

"Edward? Edward?" I called out, hoping to make a truce. He didn't come.

My stomach gurgled again, but probably not for the same reason as before.

His eyes, his face. He looked like he was so hurt.

_His face was pained, I wondered if he was hurt also. He didn't look it, but he looked worn out. _

_My face must have twisted in pain because he picked me up, wrapped me in a blanket, and hooked the seat cushion to my body. Where are we going, I wanted to ask. The words didn't come. He held me close and then in a matter of seconds we were at the front cabin door._

_How did he do that? Who was he, Superman? He looked at me, shrugging slightly. Maybe time was passing faster than I thought. I couldn't hold back my labored breaths, they just kept coming, more and more shallow. _

_I watched in awe as he kicked aside the drink cart with his leg, crumpling the metal in the process. He was amazing, my hero. I searched his eyes for any type of meaning, and I wasn't exactly sure of what I was expecting to find there. _

"_Edward…your eyes…are black."_

_He smirked at me, keeping his secrets again. "You're okay, Bella. I just need you to hold on tight. Don't let go. Do you hear me? Whatever you do, don't let go."_

_I gripped on tighter, my scraped knuckles starting to bleed. _

_I tried to focus on something other than the blood on my hands. It was then when I finally heard all the screams and moans of those who were injured. Bodies littered the floor and slumped over in seats. I gasped and the tears came more readily. The plane was still jerking about and I couldn't be sure that it wasn't that making me nauseous or if it was the fact that I was looking at a blood bath. _

_It smelled like vomit, blood and death. And I would not forget that. _

_I tried to be strong as I leaned on him, but I couldn't even believe it myself. _

"_Bella, do you trust me?"_

"_Do I have a choice?"_

"_Just hang on, everything will be okay, Bella. I promise."_

_I don't know why, but I believed him._

"_I just want to try something…"_

_He leaned down and lingered a few distressing centimeters from my face. "Be very still…don't move." He pressed his cool lips against mine, sending an electric volt through my weakened heart. _

"_I've wanted to do that since I saw you," he grinned. _

_Before I could even respond, he squeezed me tight and jumped. The sky exploded around us as the warmth enveloped our entwined bodies._

I didn't realize I was bawling until I tried to look out toward the water, a curtain of smeared tears obscured my vision. We jumped out of an airplane…with no parachute. And we survived.

The questions raced through my brain. How did we do that? How did he know we would make it? How was he not hurt? How did we get to this island? Why did he kiss me?

Maybe we were incredibly lucky…and we were, no doubt, but a lot of stars would have had to align in order for us to make it through relatively unscathed. He didn't look like he had a scratch on his perfect body. I looked bruised and beaten, but I was alive…that was a miracle in itself. In normal circumstances I would have never had a chance. And if we had survived, how come no one else had? How did he save me? What had he done?

_I am a jerk. I've pushed another one away. _

This realization hurt worse than any contusion on my body. I stumbled to my feet. It didn't matter how we got here, I had to find Edward. My stomach gnawed itself; I felt terrible for causing him any sort of pain. I limped towards the greenery at the periphery of the beach. I would start here, the island couldn't be that big, right?

Famous last words.

I trudged through the thick vines and brush trying to avoid stray low branches and unruly roots. I managed to fall only a few times, but the scrapes I sustained were nothing compared to the pain I felt visualizing his face. I stopped in a small clearing, taking in all the sounds of the jungle. The rustling of the wind through the leaves, a bubbling nearby stream, birds chirping about. There were musty odorous moss and lichens, and vines covered the enormous tree trunks. I wondered if there were any dangers in this wild, when it seemed like paradise. Were there other inhabitants on this island?

The sun that had been shrouded by a thick blanket of clouds finally appeared and shone down from the heights of the trees. It was beginning to fade as I made my way deeper into the trees. I had no sense of time at all. I unconsciously shivered, it was cold on the floor of this jungle. Turning myself around, I didn't recognize the path through which I came. Okay, now I was lost. Perfect. We were on an island though, so sooner or later, I would reach the other side of the beach. I just didn't know when that might be. Some furry animal whizzed by me, causing me to jump back and lose my balance. Before I could even stick my hands out to keep myself from falling, I felt the cool grasp of two firm arms underneath me as they swept me up.

I opened my eyes without knowing they were even closed. His eyes glowered at me, his face devoid of any discernable feeling.

"I can't leave you alone for twenty minutes, can I?" he grumbled.

I gave him a helpless smile. "I was trying to find you. I got lost."

"I thought you wanted to be alone," he scoffed at me and then turned silent. He pushed the hanging vines and branches out of the way and kept his steely gaze directed forward, not looking at me.

_I'd irreparably hurt him. I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't mean it. Please look at me._

As if he'd read my mind, he redirected his cold glare on my face. I almost recoiled, but his arms held me still. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but he looked so full of fury, so incensed. His lips parted slightly and he started that rapid whispering that I couldn't understand again. His pupils brimmed with hate towards me.

My blood began to boil, angry at myself, angry at him for not being able to forgive me. "STOP IT!"

His fierce eyes met mine. "Stop what?" he bit back.

"Doing that! It's freaky!" Anguish flashed in his eyes as the muscles in his neck prominently grew. My eyes had to have widened in shock and possibly fear. In one fall swoop, he dropped me from his arms.

"Ow!" My tailbone broke my fall, and my face crumpled in shock and dismay.

He had dropped me.

He continued alone the path, solo, not even looking behind me or offering a helping hand.

Not like I really deserved it though.

I clenched my jaw and got up. I would show him, I could take care of myself. The branches crunched below my feet as I unsteadily followed him, slowly at first, but then picking up the pace as I felt more comfortable with my legs. My arrogance betrayed me as my toe stubbed a hidden vine and I went tumbling down.

"Ugghgh," I grunted. I had to give in. "Edward!"

He stopped in his place, his body stoic in rage.

"Edward, help me," I whispered, but he was still somehow able to hear.

He turned and I visibly shuddered at the coolness he exuded. "Why would you want a freak like me to help you?" He huffed, emphasizing the word _freak_.

I let my pride get the best of me. "You're right, fuck off. I can do it myself."

Before I could try to help myself up, he was at my side, picking me up like a bag of feathers. He remained silent in his irritated state. He continued to walk in silence as I stared up at his perfect, angry face.

"You know, I don't know why you even bothered," I stated.

His eyebrows dared me to continue. "Why did you save me, when all it did was cause you to regret it?"

His legs ceased moving beneath us. He turn and gave me an icy frown. "You think I regret saving you?" he growled. His voice faltered even in anger.

"I know you do…" I averted my eyes to keep from crying.

"You don't know anything." And for the second time in ten minutes, my ass hit the ground. Hard.

* * *

What kind of trouble can two people get into on a deserted island, I wonder?

It may be a while before I get to post again...Reviews do motivate me to write faster though...just sayin'. ;)

_Inspired by Message in a Bottle by the Police, Trouble by Coldplay, Just like Heaven by the Cure, Land of Confusion by Disturbed or Genesis_


	5. planet earth is blue

_A/N: Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate them! This is another from EPOV, he's very confused in this chapter, so his thoughts are contradictory at times. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

_Rating: T to M for mature themes, language_

**Flight 5107**

_Chapter five: Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do_

_When she was defiant it made me want her blood more. _

It's purely a conjecture, but I think it had something to do with the temperature…she was near her boiling point. Maybe the aroma was more pronounced as the covalent bonds were broken with the hemoglobin. I don't know, I apparently didn't know anything. What I thought I knew, everything I'd thought I learned in my century old existence, somehow didn't apply anymore.

Regardless of the cause, I was not counting on the effect of that complication. I'd never been more aroused, for lack of better term, by her than right now as she sat before me, her mouth down-turned in a petulant manner. I hadn't expected her to be so feisty, so alive, when she awoke. I mean, the girl probably had several broken bones, possible internal bleeding, and her body was badly bruised. And here she was, in no need of rehabilitation, the perfectly put together girl sturdy and ready to fight. I supposed my tending to her wounds helped…not to brag, but I had earned medical degrees six times over. Somehow I couldn't take all the credit though.

There was something else going on, something keeping her strong for me.

I was no longer going to pretend that fate hadn't forced this girl into my life. Destiny…what a foreign concept. I never believed in it before now. What good was that idea for a vampire, especially one who could manipulate situations to fit his wishes? It never existed for me because I didn't need it to. But now I had proof it existed; she was brought to me to fill my life with purpose and reason, to somehow allow me to experience the greatest emotion I'd ever felt.

How had I ever lived before? How had I ever seen through the darkness?

My thoughts swirled around in confusion. I didn't even want to think of the connotation of the word I felt for her, I didn't want to jinx us. I mean, really fate had already dealt her a cruel hand. What had she done in her life to condemn herself to such a desolate future?

It had been two days since the crash. Two days since I met her. Two days since my life had been irreversibly flipped upside down. If the events of the past 48 hours hadn't killed her yet, I would be damned if I was going to let her die at my hands now.

I closed my eyes tight, trying to distance myself from the girl who would surely torture me for the rest of my existence

---

As we tumbled towards the sea, the night sky enveloping us, I actually felt weightless, effortless, like we were drifting, floating…and not at the dangerous velocity that we were falling.

Somehow my mind was able to absorb the twinkling dots surrounding me on all sides, only interrupted by the brilliant inferno that was our splintered plane as it streaked across the dark blue blanket of night.

Stunning.

Relishing the cool rush of air that was whipping my body, I took it all in with a deep inspiration. I sputtered as her scent filled every part of my lungs, making it that much harder to breathe. Now completely aware of where I was, I realized with alarming horror that what was left of the plane would soon be making its forceful impact on the water, but that we would be making ours first.

I tucked Bella into a ball into my arms, trying my best to shield her from the awaiting wall of bricks that awaited us. She whimpered, her eyes closed, no doubt waiting for what she thought her inevitable demise would be. My body reflexively crouched as the sickening crush of water met my legs, sending me in a plummet to the freezing depths.

The frigid currents ripped against our bodies as I struggled to surface. It took all the strength I had to swim through the darkness, but I didn't give up.

All for Bella. I couldn't let her freeze. My senses were hyperaware that the odds were stacked heavily against her, but I couldn't think of anything else but saving her. I slid easily through the icy tide, trying to keep her head above water as much as I could. The impact of our dive knocked her out and it would be very cruel indeed if my attempt to save her ended up killing her instead.

As soon as my feet hit something solid on the bottom of the ocean floor, I knew we must have been at least nearing land. Thank God. It wouldn't be long before we collapsed onto the shore of a little uninhabited island.

I was afraid I was too late. She was so blue, so cold, so serene. But she still had a pulse, I could hear it drumming erratically. It slowly thumped in time, bradycardic from the freezing shock to her system.

BOOM. Our plane, or what was left of it, reached it's fiery endpoint a little ways offshore. The flames flickered in the distance, illuminating Bella's shivering form, her body instinctively trying to protect her from organ failure. As she lay dying in my arms, I realized that my proximity wasn't helping her any. I covered her body with sand, which was only slightly warmer than the air but it was better than having an ice cold vampire beside her.

My mind was made up before the plane had even reached the awaiting Earth, I had to go back and see if there was anything else left. Something that might help her. I glided through the water again, until I reached the edge of the plane. The plane had fractured in half some time before hitting the water, and amazingly there was still a part of the skeleton intact. What was left of the vessel was still on fire and the pungency of gasoline temporarily distracted me from Bella's still familiar scent. The heat was blistering, and I could barely see anything through the billows of smoke. I extinguished what I could with sea water, then I fought through the charred body parts and the ragged metal seeing if there was any sign of life. I couldn't hear anything; for the first time, the silence was deafening, confirming what I already knew to be the truth.

We were the only two survivors of this plane crash.

Various items finally plopped down into the water from the sky, having been ejected from the plane as it was ripped in half. Most of it was badly damaged, but I shoved whatever I could find, blankets, foodstuffs, any type of fabric or cloth, the metal frame of a seat into my arms. It had only been seconds since I left her on the beach, but I needed to get back to her. I felt uneasy about leaving her by herself. What if she woke up? Even worse, what if she didn't?

She didn't.

Not for two whole days.

Two excruciatingly painful days. With every passing hour, I wondered if she would survive. I wrapped her in anything I could, warming her. Every now and then she would cry out in some gibberish, but that gave me hope that she was close to returning to me. I watched her, waiting. This was the most difficult time of all.

Alone with only a barely alive girl, whose thoughts were immune to me, keeping me company, I'd never felt so helpless. There had never been a time in my whole existence as a vampire that I heard silence. Thoughts of others, ranging from banal to salacious, always consumed my mind. This was different, it was uncomfortable for me to feel so alone. It made me hyperaware of my own thoughts, and all of my thoughts revolved around Bella. I couldn't help thinking of her, cold and delicate skin. Her silky hair and soft lips. It was driving me insane, all this yearning. There were no other distractions. Just one fucking big one in front of me.

So I did the unthinkable. I touched her. I had done it before, on the plane, but this was different. There was no one to witness if I lost control of my urges. If I wasn't strong enough, and I killed her, no one would know the better. There were no consequences now.

Except that I wanted her to survive. No, I needed her to. Of all of the terrible things I was, I was nothing if selfish and I wanted her alive and all to myself. Touching her was like feeling heaven and then experiencing hell. I stroked her hair at first, timidly, seeing how far I could push myself. Apparently not that far, since as soon as I made contact, the prickling in my throat became too much to bear. I backed off…then I tried again the next hour. And the next, slowly introducing my fingers to her forehead…her cheek…her jaw…her lips. It was practice in the most devastating act of self-discipline I'd ever encountered. But it made me realize two things.

One, that I could touch Bella Swan and not kill her. And I could do it without a whole plane full of people to serve as collateral.

And two, if I hadn't known it before, I knew it now. I was desperately, hopelessly and inexplicably drawn to this girl.

It wasn't my fault. Her blood called for me, sang out my name in the most hideously gorgeous aria I'd ever bear witness to. Even if she wished to be rid of me now, she would not be. My desire for her was impervious to any force, earthly or otherwise. She was mine now, and I took care of her like she was my most valued possession.

I fastened a neck brace out of the metal seat frame for her, afraid to snap her gorgeous neck as I fitted my hands around it. I fashioned a makeshift turban out of part of my jacket to cover the bad gash on the back of her head. I dressed all of her wounds, tried to splint any possible broken bones, careful not to spill any more of her blood. Her blood already spilt on me, but I was getting better at fighting off the urges. For now, the voice in the back of my head that had been so vehemently pro-slaughter was silent. But I knew it would soon return, and start mocking me in my hell again.

He was probably having a field day with this turn in events. Just when it had started to get easier for me to be around her, and the thirst had started to wane, she lay there almost lifeless. The irony of it all. She taunted me, the tasty little snack. Every minute of that torture made me more acutely aware of her mortality, every second made me less hopeful for her recovery. And it made me more hopeful for the opportunity to drink her nectar.

I busied myself with other tasks as a distraction. Fishing, gathering, hunting. It was all very primitive. Going back and forth from the plane to the shore, collecting goods that we may be able to use. Making a makeshift campsite for Bella and I, and starting to make a more permanent shelter on the other side of the island. The island was small, easy to get around, no people. There were plenty of small animals to quench my thirst, and I fed often. I had to…the smell from the wreckage was intolerable.

Dragging the dead from the plane and giving them a proper sea burial was by far the most difficult task. Blood was spilt everywhere, but I abstained. If I was going to ever drink the blood of a human again, it would be hers, no one else's.

"Edward? EDWARD?"

Awake. At last.

I could not control the grin that invaded my usually somber face. I just loved the way she screamed my name.

In a flash I was within view. She was crouched in the water, the tides rolling over her body, soaking what was left of her thin dress. She heaved in and out, struggling for breath.

Oh God.

"Bella?" I yelled out. Her head shot up, looking around.

Her face when she saw mine was the most glorious vision I'd ever seen.

"Edward? EDWARD?" I laughed as I ran towards her, kicking up the water all around us. I held her, gently twirling us around. Practice makes perfect…almost. Her skin against mine electrified my body, slow roasting it from the inside. But the pain didn't even phase me. There was such a deep connection between us, something that brought her to me. I was never one to believe in fate, but this was the near definition of it. As I'd spent the last two days by her side, I knew this was exactly how it was supposed to be. This girl could love me, of this I was almost sure…and I was definitely sure that I could love her, too.

I really was a masochist, wasn't I?

"Bella," I breathed, the relief dripping from my voice. I allowed myself to savor the frantic beat of her arteries pumping blood through her body. Her pulse was quickened, delivering a flush to her cheeks. The depths of my nonexistent stomach clenched in thirst. God, this hurt.

"I thought you were dead," she avoided my eyes in shame.

_Technically, I am._

I chuckled as she lightly brushed my arm. Ah, nothing like the feeling of searing pain. I turned more grim…she would have to find out about my secret soon. How long could we stay here before she noticed some of the little things, like how I didn't eat or sleep, how I had superhuman strength and speed? Before she noticed how my skin glittered in the sunlight? She picked up on my sudden change of mood. Time to change the subject. "I'm sorry, I brought you to this side of the island because I didn't want you to see…"

"See what?" Her eyes questioned, but they were not hopeful.

I didn't want to say it, but I did. "The wreckage."

"Are we?" she hesitated, the sadness apparent in her chocolate eyes. I nodded, confirming her worst fear. "Oh." Tears threatened to fall, and I wish I could hear her thoughts and banish them forever.

I touched her then, rubbing small circles on her back. If you had told me I would be able to be this close to her without taking her, I wouldn't have believed it. There was something else here, more than the self-control I'd built up. My feelings for her, and I didn't fully understand them yet, were keeping her alive. "I want to see it," she whispered.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea. It would be too much. I'm trying to clean up as much as I can, and salvage what I can…"

"I want to see it, take me there," she insisted. I frowned at her, but relented. This was dangerous, the power she had over me. I was already too much of myself around her. But I guess we were on a deserted island in no danger of anyone else finding out about me…so it could have been worse.

"Okay, I'll take you later, but are you sure you don't want something to eat first? You've been out for two days," I fought the overwhelming urge to touch her again, and I lost the internal battle that raged within. I let my fingers guide themselves down her cheek and across her jaw bone. She shuddered at the contact, but held her head up for me. I held her chin in my hands and brought her warm head against my cool one.

"Two days? And you just let me?" her eyes widened.

"I didn't know how long your body needed to adjust to the shock. And I watched you that whole first day. I only wandered away when I felt that you were stable…when you weren't screaming."

Her face blushed my favorite pinkish tint, but I couldn't hide my displeasure. I stood up and walked a few paces away from her, staring out at the rolling tides.

"Thank you, Edward." She hobbled to my side, grabbing my hands. She was not afraid of the bitter coldness anymore, and started rubbing circles into my palms. "For saving my life."

I only nodded…guilty that I was so close to ripping her life from her. But she was thanking me…for not killing her in essence. Not a problem a normal human should have.

She was so delicate looking here in this moment. Her long wet hair had shook itself loose form its dressing, and now it matted to her skin. Her dress clung to every curve of her body, especially the swell of her breasts, her pert nipples staring back at me. Yes, I was looking. I am still a man.

It was still so new to me, lust and yearning. I'd never not been able to have what I'd wanted before. If I were a regular man, maybe I would have had her by now. I shook my head to rid myself of these fantasies before I got carried away. It was an ache, a different kind of hunger…but it was a real one that was ironically slowly consuming me raw. But I couldn't act on these desires. She didn't know what I would do to her if I relented and caved into my desire. How easy it would be to crush her body. I'd just spent all my energy keeping her alive and to undo all of that for the pleasure of a kiss? Even I had more self-control than to let that happen.

She apparently was thinking the same thing I was. She leaned on her good leg and reached up to touch my lips with hers. Her breath hitched, and I let my knees flex a little bit to get closer to those beautiful plump swells.

Stop.

Her eyelids fluttered shut, waiting for me to meet her lips in ecstasy. I couldn't. I wouldn't be able to stop. It took all of my strength not to snap her body in two when she awakened and stared into my lonely eyes that had roamed the Earth for so long without her. I held out my arms and pushed her away, causing her brow to knit together a mix of confusion and anger.

Instead, I picked her up and held her like a baby, walking slowly to the campsite I'd set up for us.

Her body became as rigid as mine usually was. She was pissed, and it was so endearing. She kept staring at me, just daring me to speak to her, daring me to explain myself.

_Well sweetheart, if I kiss you, if I hold you, if I take you…I'll end up crushing your body with my bare hands. And I'll probably like the feel of your bones crumbling in my fingers. _

This was so fucked up. Everything about me is fucked up.

"I can walk by myself, you know." She fumed from my arms, scowling and probably cursing me. I hated that I couldn't hear a damn thing. I would have loved to hear the profanities spewing from her beautiful mind. I liked a little feistiness in my prey. Made it more exciting.

"I'd rather you not, the wounds on your leg are still oozing. I did what I could to clean it, but you need to keep it elevated and rested. I think you might have some bruised ribs, maybe even a neck injury. You need to take it easy." I said this firmly, and even I almost believed myself as to why I couldn't be more physical with her.

I set her down on a blanket next to the logs. I struck two rocks together with my strength and speed working together to create a nice flame burst. I pulled out a fish and started barbequing.

"Oh god, excuse me." She hurried away as best she could, stumbling down the beach before she wretched and vomited into the sand. She held her head in her hands, her body shaking.

"Bella?" I ran to her side as a reflex.

"Please. It just…reminded me of the way the plane looked when we jumped. The burning, the smell of ashes…" She again gagged as the nausea overtook her. I reached for her hair, clearing her face. In an instant of anger, she ripped the cervical collar from her neck and tossed it aside.

Her actions were full of resentment towards me. It emanated in waves off her body. "I'm sorry."

"How would you have known it would affect me this much? You can't read my mind."

_You have no idea, sweetheart._

I snickered at her choice of words.

"Thanks for reminding me," I retorted. "Bella, you need to go back to the fire and eat something, you're weak," I ordered.

Her face crumpled in rage, "You're not the boss of me. Why can't you just let me be? Why are you controlling my life? You should have just let me die!"

I inhaled sharply, ceasing all airflow out of my lungs. This is what it felt like to be knocked out. She would rather be dead than be here with me.

"Is that what you want? To be dead?" I hissed, her words still piercing my ears.

_Well if that's what you want, we can make that happen for you, darling. _

"Just leave me alone." I didn't move. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" she yelled, her voice breaking.

"Well fuck you, too," I muttered. I had to get away from here before I did something rash. I let go of her hair and ran as fast as I could through the forest. She wouldn't even have time to look.

_Why didn't you just let me die?_

Why didn't I? Here I was, the fool who fought my inner demon to not kill her because I believed that there was some deep connection with this girl. I deluded myself into believing that she was different. She wasn't different, she was exactly like all those other fickle humans. Confusing. Frustrating. Not even worth it.

I sat down on a large boulder and dropped my head into my hands, pinching my nose with my forefinger and thumb. I exhaled. The churning feeling in my stomach was back, but I wasn't so sure it was due to thirst. She was infuriating. But at the same time, she was so lovely, and so perfect, it pained me to think how flawed I was compared to her.

She obviously did not feel the same about me. I felt the revulsion. I felt the apprehension. She was questioning how we had survived, how we had been the only ones. She was questioning me.

At the same time, she was an ungrateful bitch. And now that I rejected her, the loathing was worse. Well now I could just ignore her, couldn't I? As if. I punched a tree, causing the trunk to snap in half. The fury seared into my core, I had to distract myself before I went back there and killed her. She didn't have any idea how lucky she was that I was able to hold myself in check for this long. I didn't have to though…

With this new little bit of information stored away in my head, what _was _stopping me from going back there and finishing her off? It was like she'd given me a green light. I hesitated and turned myself back towards the direction of the campfire. I could hear her nimble fingers ripping at the fish, her teeth noisily chewing the meat. She sighed softly in a symbol of resignation, and in that moment, echoed my feelings exactly.

If she wished for death, I could certainly deliver.

The monster inside me laughed heartily.

_Fuck._

He was back, and he was mocking me. I was strong though. I'd resist the urge to kill her to show him. Really, I knew I wouldn't kill her because I was a coward to my own feelings. I turned back the opposite direction of the campsite and ran. Racing through the hanging vines and branches, the stress I felt was finally disappearing. It felt good to just run. Not have to worry about anything…or anyone. Like a certain brown-haired girl I'd left on the beach. If was going to sulk and hate me, she could. I wanted her to hate me as much as I hated myself. I could escape this island, leave her here alone. I wanted her to completely loathe my being so that I could be free.

But I wasn't free. I felt more fettered now with my guilty conscience more than ever. Bound by my feelings. Confined by her proximity. Enslaved by her very existence. Restrained by what I was and more importantly, what I was not.

Who did she think she was, my prison guard? I could feel my irises darkening. Now this was actual thirst. God damn. See what she was doing to me? In the real world, continuous feeds like I had taken since we got here would have tided me over for weeks. They barely lasted an hour now.

Everything had changed, and it was baffling the hell of out me.

I couldn't just ignore her. But if I stayed, I could very well kill her. But, I couldn't just leave her either. I mean, knowing that she existed would just bring me back. She was a part of me now, and I know there would be no force that could keep me from her. I would just have to try harder even though this was growing very tiresome. Maybe this is why I'd never bothered with females before. Always changing their minds, giving mixed signals. I finally understood what other men "my age" had been thinking when they were frustrated with this other mercurial gender. They _were _a lot of trouble. But, if she wanted to be left alone, then I would oblige that request. That way I wouldn't have to struggle with the temptation to kill her.

He chuckled again at my futile thoughts of leaving her be. He knew I wouldn't be able to stay away. She haunted every part of my being. I felt so out of control. _Her_ very being consumed all of my thoughts. It was strange how she now was the focal point of my life. How all the sudden now my thoughts orbited around her constantly, like my moon had finally found her Earth. It was sick. Even if there was physical distance between us, I wouldn't be able to escape the thought of her. I wouldn't escape the vision of me ravaging her delicate, helpless features.

It was far too good, her image was indelible from my memory. Fucking shit. It was so aggravating, this turmoil. She had looked really enraged, and in essence really more appealing. I was brought up a gentleman and I hated that she made me raise my voice to her, hated that I cursed in front of her.

I hadn't realized I'd stopped running until I heard the cracking of leaves as something flitted through them…dinner perhaps?

Another sound. Another rustle and I was off, knowing what it was before it even happened. I caught her just in time.

Her eyelids fluttered open as if she expected my eyes to be waiting for her. My black eyes bored into her face as I mumbled, "I can't leave you alone for twenty minutes, can I?"

Her tiny mouth twisted in the kindest of smiles…oh so now she was going to play nice? "I was trying to find you. I got lost." Her helplessness was so pathetic…and charming and lovely and worthy of all of my adoration.

I wasn't ready to forgive that easily though, the sting of her words still fresh in my mind. I stared straight ahead, barely acknowledging her presence even as I held her. Her skin prickled against mine. "I thought you wanted to be alone."

Her silence forced me to redirect my gaze to her. Her pupils widened, the two pools filled with longing, just waiting to destroy me. Her pulse quickened and her lips parted ever so slightly. The wind blew across her features causing that scent to rise up into my nostrils again…

_Fucking infatuation. Control yourself. Be mad. Be incensed. Don't be weak._

"STOP IT!" she screeched, surprising me.

"Stop what?" My head snapped to hers, momentarily shocking her.

She exhaled deeply and shouted, "Doing that! It's freaky!"

_What?_

The extent of the pain was excruciating, like her intent was perfectly malicious as she twisted the knife a little bit deeper into my nonexistent heart. No, no this was worse than a million knives stabbing at my flesh. The feeling of her body against my arms suddenly burned me and I dropped her.

A freak. That's exactly what I am. That's exactly what she saw me as. I revolted her. Isn't this what I had wanted, for her to reject me? Shouldn't this information have caused me to rejoice triumphantly in my ability to push her away? I know should have felt great happiness in this new revelation, but instead I felt very emotionally empty. I was drained. She finally recognized me for what I was. Why was there a new gnawing sensation in my mind now?

"Ow!" I heard her yell behind me. I didn't care, I was not going to look back. The branches crackled beneath her slow feet as she stumbled to catch up with me. I could feel her staring daggers into my back, but those weak metal swords would have nothing on her words.

I heard her hit the ground once again and fought to keep going. She didn't want my help, so I wouldn't offer it to her.

"Ugghgh, Edward!" she yelled at my back. "Edward, help me," her tone timid and irritated.

I rolled my eyes. Now she wanted my assistance. How aggravating.

_Careful what you wish for…_

I spun around, trying my hardest to look menacing and intimidating. Judging by the shocked expression on her face, it was working. Nice to know I still had it. "Why would you want a _freak_ like me to help you?"

Her features softened, but her tone was still unapologetic as she hissed, "You're right, fuck off. I can do it myself."

Intriguing, that wasn't the response I thought I'd elicit. She was certainly strange. Strange and beautiful all at once. Her nose wrinkled at me in disgust, her chin pointed in the air.

Now she was just challenging me. I strode back towards her, picking her up and holding her in my bitter hands like she was nothing. No big deal. I tried to tell myself that…it didn't work.

"You know, I don't know why you even bothered…"

My annoyance was now apparent as I sighed. Could she not keep her mouth shut? I congratulated myself on saving the most infuriating human being on the planet. "Why did you save me, when all it did was cause you to regret it?"

My legs failed me as they abruptly ceased moving. She thought my stilted behavior was due to remorse. Silly human being, such easy prey. "You think I regret saving you?" I seethed, hissing through clenched teeth. I could no longer disguise any semblance of anger.

"I know you do…" she did not look at me, and I did not care.

"You don't know anything."

I opened up my arms and smiled as I heard her butt thud against the ground again.

_---_

_Inspired by Space Oddity by David Bowie; What I've Done by Linkin Park; Major Tom Coming Home by Peter Schilling_


	6. like a heartbeat drives you mad

_A/N: Hope you guys enjoy, the story should be moving along a little faster now. Don't be shy, leave me some updates if you're reading!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the book, movie, songs or lyrics._

_Rating: T to M for adult themes/language  
_

**Flight 5107**

_Chapter Six: like a heartbeat drives you mad_

_EPOV_

I'm a mean vampire. I really am. I shouldn't have been so elated to see the hurt look on her face, but she deserved every bit of it. She was the most difficult, most insufferable, yet most infallible and lovely creature I'd ever laid eyes on.

How could she think that I regretted saving her? That was the best thing I had done…it took the utmost strength and will for me, and she couldn't see that. She obviously did think of me as a monster. Rightfully so, I suppose.

I started back towards our campsite, fully aware of her presence behind me.

Esme's disapproving face flashed in front of my eyes. Damn my conscience. I thought vampires weren't supposed to be able to feel guilt or sympathy. Wrong again.

I whipped around and walked back to a still shell-shocked Bella sitting in the same position I'd left her. Her face was full of indignation and strife. I am an awful being. I extended my hand towards her and couldn't blame her when she did not take it immediately.

"I won't drop you. Come on, it's getting dark."

She grabbed my peace offering, causing me immense searing pain with her touch, and lifted herself off the cold floor. She promptly dropped my hand and walked slowly beside me, not making eye contact. She was a proud one, this girl. She dropped back a few steps behind me, and I fought the urge to take her hand and drag her through the jungle. I had always had little patience with human pace…I was the fastest in my family and had never had to slow myself down.

A sniffle.

_God, was she crying? Did I make her cry?_

"Are you crying?" I echoed my thoughts.

She sniffed and hid her face from me. She fought the heaves that were threatening to overtake her frail body.

I sighed and she took that as a sign of my annoyance towards her. She brushed the glistening droplets from her face and continued pace beside me. We made it to the clearing in minutes and then the real awkwardness set in, as neither of us knew what to do. I heard her stomach growl and felt relieved that there was something that could eat up time. Literally.

I sat down on a log and pulled out another fish from my stash, and speared it onto a sharpened twig. Starting another fire, I noticed that she hadn't moved from her position above me. Was she just going to stand there?

I held out the fish for her to take. She didn't.

"I know you're hungry…the whole island knows you're hungry," I snickered, causing her to scowl. Now I actually was irritated with her.

Her face was hard and adamant, but eventually she reluctantly began to dismantle the fish with her delicate fingers. She stopped when she realized I wasn't making one for myself.

"Not hungry," I answered her silent question. Again, she took this as a sign of my irritation. She huffed, but then ate the entire fish…damn…as if to prove a point. How long was she going to keep this silent treatment up, because two could play at that game.

She suddenly looked down at herself and gasped. I followed her line of vision, her dress was half ripped from her body, showing the silky material of a full length slip and ghastly pale skin in some places underneath where the fabric had been ripped away. Didn't look that bad to me, but I surmised that she felt very exposed and very vulnerable. What all that skin would it look like exposed I wondered. I inwardly groaned. It was going to be a long, long night beside her.

Well, it would be had I planned to stay beside her.

I stood up and brushed the nonexistent sand from my pants. She implored me with her eyes.

"Bathroom." Humans had to do that, right?

Instead I raced through the jungle to the wreckage and pulled as many scraps of blankets and fabric that I could salvage, for Bella's makeshift bed. Upon my return her eyes just widened at all the stuff stacked in my arms. We wordlessly organized two little makeshift sleeping areas around the fire. I swear she seemed disappointed as I set up my little bed on the other side of the pit. She climbed into her little improvised sleeping bag and tucked herself up to her chin. I could tell she was already fatigued from the day's events…and she had been unconscious for half of it.

She quickly drew deep breaths and I knew she was asleep. I was more tortured than ever now, as I sat beside her, watching her sleep. She wasn't talking to me. And while I tried to convince myself that this was a great thing, that this would save her from me, I couldn't believe it. I wanted her to talk to me because I wanted to know everything there was to know about her. I knew the superficial stuff about her job and her friends, but I wanted to know Bella Swan. The real Bella Swan. She was hiding all of that precious information from me as punishment.

Her body thrashed about suddenly as a nightmare wreaked havoc on her subconscious. Her arms flailed as she spoke clearly as if she were awake, "Edward, don't leave me."

_I won't leave you, my love. Now that I've found you, where else could I possibly go?_

"Charlie, Renee…" she murmured in her REM trance. I felt like I was going insane, having to watch her body twist and turn as her bad dreams overtook her. I wished with every fiber of my being that I could sleep so that I didn't have to bear witness to this tragedy in front of me. If I could dream I know it would be of her. She looked like she was in so much pain. And I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. No, rather, I was egging her on, causing more pain with my very existence, like the monster I was.

"Jacob no, no! NO! Don't hurt him…" she tossed and turned and once again I found myself wanting to physically damage this Jacob asshole, how nice it would be to tear his limbs from his body.

When I was assured that she was in the deep stages of sleep, I made a quick survey of the island. Once some of the small animals that may have been considered dangers were eliminated, I threw myself into the crashing breakers and began to swim. The water was churning all around me, the riptides getting stronger with every stroke. That must be a sign of another coming storm. I'd have to figure out some way to build a more permanent structure as shelter for Bella and me.

Bella and me. That sounded nice.

It took more a mere sixty seconds before I reached land again. I swept across it, letting the quickness of my running motion dry my off completely. Nope, no people…but some more tasty critters on which I feasted. I was a total disgusting glutton, but I couldn't be safe enough for Bella. Next island. I continued island jumping, never finding one person amongst the dozen or so I visited, until I knew that dawn would be soon upon us. I searched the sky for the sun, but could only see it retreat behind the thick ceiling of clouds. Good, I had at least another day before I had to actually explain my very startling appearance in sunlight.

I leaned down close to her when I returned, taking a huge whiff of her scent. Ugh, it burned my throat in such blistering pain. This had to be done though if I wanted to desensitize myself. I slipped into my blankets, pretending I was asleep just as she rustled around in hers. I hid my half-closed eyes underneath my unruly hair and watched as she yawned and stretched out. She peered over at my side of the camp, and looked relieved that I wasn't yet awake. Her hair stuck out into a million different directions, the victim of a restless night. She took some strands in her fingers, sniffed them and made an expression of pure repugnancy that made me stifle a laugh so hard I thought I would choke.

I turned the other way in my bed before she could catch on and shut my eyes hard. I heard her footsteps inch closer to my body as she checked if I were really asleep. She tiptoed away from our campsite, creeping into the trees. Great, now I would have to "wake up" and go find her again when she got lost. Her breathing was slow and deliberate like she was trying not to make a sound, but she wasn't really aware I had very keen senses. She flitted through the jungle, a blanket in hand, somehow not tripping and falling in the process. She deserved more credit than I allotted to her. I counted to thirty quickly in my head then followed her in, flying soundless up the trees to get a better peripheral view of where she was going.

She stopped at various trees and plants as if she were looking at place markers. Her head pointed upwards as she followed a familiar sound that took her right to the small lake with the picturesque waterfall I'd seen before while exploring the island. She tested the water with her bare foot, and then took a timid step in, her back to me.

No! Was this girl an idiot? There could be dangers lurking beneath those waters…or it could be too deep or have quicksand. Maybe she was trying to kill herself? Or kill me in the process? I watched in horror as she took a few more steps into the water.

She was almost waist deep in water when a quick gesture sent a quick breath into the depth of my lungs. The wet wadded up fabric hit the surface of a rock with a thwack and if I could blush, I'd probably match the exact red color of the lace. Oh god. I suddenly felt like a pervert…a peeping tom…a disgusting voyeur as I imagined myself down there with her, touching her between her bare legs…

Stop.

The things I would do to her. Things that I'd only ever seen in other people's minds and not actually my own. I replaced other females in the fantasies that had so littered my mind through the thoughts of others with Bella, thinking about all of the glorious skin and the kisses and the heat. I craved that heat. It didn't matter that I couldn't do it because her bones would snap into pieces. In my mind I could do it...I could do her.

The invasion of privacy I was always so privy to was really perverted. Humans were disgusting, but Vampires could be even worse with their all-consuming thoughts of sex. Thank God Emmett wasn't here, or I wouldn't hear the end of it. And I'm sure he'd probably be thinking the exact same lascivious thoughts about Bella that I was…which would make me lunge at his throat, giving my hiding place away. I hated myself for having little experience to drawn upon…but I really hated myself for not being able to stop watching her.

I didn't care if the water was unsafe at this point. Hell, maybe it would wash some of her scent off. I just wanted her to keep stripping. She crawled deeper into the water, peeling off her dress as the water reached the top of her chest. She tossed it over to shore in one fall swoop and I almost died of happiness if it were possible. Black lace flew through the air as her breasts were unfettered. Those delicious curves bare naked underneath that water. God. Help. Me.

She submerged her head underwater briefly. She shook out her wet hair which now clung to her white flesh in a long heavy curtain. She slowly washed herself, a strange lusty expression on her face. I felt some unfamiliar stirrings deep inside me. Strange desire washed over me, an uncomfortable feeling settling between my legs. It was a low simmering ache, a throbbing arousal. She rubbed her skin as best she could to rid it of some of the dirt and blood that had stuck to her since the crash. She winced as she cleaned her body, slowing rising out of the water.

_Yes. Please turn around. _

She didn't. I saw the glorious under curve of her ample breasts, perky and perfectly round. She had a nicely rounded behind and I traced my eyes up her back over the luscious contour of her abdomen. I softly gasped as I saw telltale marks on her back. Her whole middle back and shoulder blades were bruised, the purplish tints slowly melding to yellowish-green splotches. They formed the perfect images of where I held her tight as we jumped off the plane. It dawned on me more than ever now. I had physically hurt her. She was covered in contusions because of my monstrous power.

I hopped down the tree and rushed back to the campsite as quickly as I could. I was ashamed enough for one morning, ashamed enough to damn me for another eternity.

---

When she returned, I'd already laid out some fruit I'd gathered yesterday. She had put on her slip only and wrapped herself in the blanket. She ate in silence and stared at me from across the pit. She didn't say anything, didn't meet my gaze as if she knew I'd spied on her like the creep I was. She didn't say anything. She was probably as disgusted with me as I was at myself, revolted by the bruises I'd left on her body.

I got up, the silent judging making me suddenly very uncomfortable. I walked along the beach very much aware that she was following closely behind. When she started to figure out where we were going, her steps quickened until she was right beside me. I'd scattered the various items I was able to save from the plane across the beach, so that if someone were to find us, they wouldn't be suspicious. Her body shook as she took in the sight of our former vessel, lifeless in the water. The tears came flooding out of her eyes as she crouched on the ground.

Her body was flushed as I knelt down beside her and put my hand on her back slowly. I had to go very slowly. I gave her a few encouraging pats when she looked into my eyes and fell into my arms in one heap of sobs. The pain was electric…so much that it no longer felt like pain, only the greatest pleasure. I closed my arms around her, making sure I wouldn't crush her blood vessels this time. I missed having her in my arms.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I put a finger to her lips and relished the heat her breath imparted on my lucky finger. "So now someone decides to talk."

"You dropped me," she retorted, smiling a small delicate smile.

"You deserved it."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm sorry, too." I tried to rise up to standing position, but she unexpectedly grabbed my hand sending a shock through my system.

"No, I shouldn't have said that, I was a real brat there, not appreciating what you did. You saved me. And I pushed you away by saying all that stuff. I didn't mean it." She pulled me down next to her, leaning her head on my shoulder.

_Yes you did. Yes you should. Just like you should be repelled from me right now._

"It's fine, really. We've been through a lot. No one will hold it against you if you feel angry or upset or sad, least of all me." Her aroma tickled my throat wickedly, but I pushed the thought out. I would not let the monster ruin this moment for me.

"The only thing I'm sad about is how much you must hate me."

I cupped her chin in my hands carefully, "I don't hate you. Please know that. I'm an ass, I shouldn't have dropped you." I let go of her soft skin having tested myself too much this morning. I ran my hand through my hair to distract the nerves with different sensations, making her inhale sharply.

"Edward?" she said timidly. "I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else, and I hope that you don't leave me alone. Please don't leave me, okay?"

"Well, where else would I go?" I reassured her and myself. I placed my forehead against hers.

Her eyes glistened with a fresh batch of tears, but I thought I saw something else there as I lowered my face to be on par with hers. What was it, love or lust? I hoped it was both because those two feelings were swirling around in the empty pit where my heart used to beat.

"Look, I don't know how long we'll be here, but let's just start over okay? I'm Edward Cullen, and you're Bella Swan and we are going to make the most of this island. We have to make the most of this second chance and try not to kill each other," I smiled, the agony of irony hanging over my words.

I returned to my feet and held out my hand to her. She looked up at me with the most heartbreaking expression of loss and sadness as she whispered, "Thank you."

"Bella," I said, my voice serious, "I don't want you wandering into the jungle by yourself. You don't know what could be in there. I'd much rather you wait for me. I think it'll be safer and I'll at least feel more at ease."

"So you noticed I was gone…" she smiled wickedly sending my thoughts into a frenzy.

"Yes, it scared me half to death when you weren't there when I woke…" I lied seamlessly.

"Seems like you got a taste of your own medicine. Anyway, you get to go in there by yourself." Interesting, not only was her body bruised, but her ego was as well.

"I'm pretty sure I can fight anything that comes my way off…you, not so sure. Although, you do have a mighty strong right jab," I laughed, rubbing at my nonexistent injury. She snickered.

"Sorry, but I had to take a bath. I felt so disgusting."

"I know the feeling." I did.

"Well I think the water was too cold anyhow, I'm still feeling a little chilly."

I automatically rubbed my hands against her blanket covered shoulders, trying to force heat from my freezing cold extremities in vain. I tipped her chin up towards my face again and her brows knitted together.

"You look different." She cocked her head as she tried to figure it out. "I got it! Are your eyes black?" I didn't answer, but she didn't press it.

We walked together in silence, our thoughts like a cloud over us. As the items strewn across the beach increased, Bella's brow etched in deep concentration as she looked from the plane to the beach. She was starting to wonder.

She was distracted as she gripped my hand to keep from stumbling over a rock, and I didn't let go. I didn't want to. Now that a lot things were out in the open, my feelings were the inevitable next secret to come out.

"Edward, you're freezing. Are you sure you're feeling okay?" I wondered why she hadn't brought this up earlier, but she must have forgotten like I just did.

"Oh, I'm fine, I always run a little cold. You're full of questions aren't you? Good thing we have time…"

"Hmm…how did…" she trailed off as a strange expression crossed her face. She dropped my hand and stumbled away, her hand outstretched as if she were going to fall.

"Bella?" She lurched forward, her hands hitting the sand before I could get to her. Her body shook furiously as she projected her breakfast onto the sand. Her hand moved to her abdomen, as she let her body collapse onto the sand.

* * *

_Inspired by Dreams by Fleetwood Mac, High and Dry by Radiohead, Shiver by Coldplay, Pain by Jimmy Eat World_


	7. for a minute there I lost myself

_A/N: I'm catching up with , just updating the chapters I haven't posted here yet. There will be a new one out at the end of it all, so leave me some love (or hate whatever)!_

_I own nothing, not the book, not the movie, not the songs._

_Rating: T to M for mature language and situations._

**Flight 5107**

_Chapter Seven: for a minute there I lost myself_

I was going to lose her, of this much I was sure.

For three days and three nights, I watched as Bella lay slowly dying in my arms. Her fate was unbearable to me, but it was imminent. It was times like this when I wished I was unaware, ignorant of any sort of medical knowledge. But alas, that was not the case, and my knowledge betrayed me. I could recognize all of the signs.

She was septic.

It was funny, she had bad blood. Infected blood that was poisoning her system.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

I snickered to myself. I guess I was better at taking lives rather than saving them.

She had collapsed after vomiting on the beach, her body shaking and writhing about. At first, I'd been afraid that she was seizing, either from a metabolic disturbance or some other central nervous process. And once her body stopped thrashing, she had gotten so confused, was that a post-ictal state?

I waited for her condition to improve. Seizures are very common, they don't always portend to a poor prognosis. But then the decline continued and she was hard to arouse from her lapses in consciousness. And that's when I started to smell the difference, the slight nuance that was giving her blood a more acrid odor. Bacteria was swimming freely through her blood, feasting away at her organs, attacking her immune defenses, pumping through the chambers of her heart. I didn't know how much or what damage it had already done, but I knew the infection was taking her quickly.

She'd been waxing and waning so frequently in her level of awareness that I didn't dare leave her side for fear of a quick deterioration. Instead, I took her into my arms and didn't let go. I'd promised her that I would not leave, and I would not go back on my word now. I had no other choice than to stay.

I wiped her furrowed brow, letting my fingers trace the wrinkles in her wet skin. Sweat poured off her body; the fever was out of control. Damn the heat. I had to fight myself extra hard to control the thirst. Even with the added pungency, her scent was so tempting to me. It was distracting to say the least. I was truly a monster to think of my desire when she was about to lose her life.

Why couldn't it be me?

Oh, maybe because I was a century old vampire who was already dead. Trust me, if I could die, I would have gladly traded places with her. My death would be far less consequential than hers. It was unfair for me to have lived several lives over, when her only one was going to end so prematurely. I would give anything, everything in my life to ensure that this girl lived. And the truth was, I wasn't even sure why. She affected me in a way that was unprecedented; never before had I experienced so much anguish and pain over a human being. Even in the early days when I lapsed into the murderer I used to be, I'd felt bad, maybe a little guilty, but I'd never felt like this. It had never been like this for anyone before, even with my family, whom I loved dearly. This was different. Bella was a permanent fixture in my thoughts and more importantly in my heart. I'd never felt anything for anyone because I thought I'd been doomed to live this life alone.

Until she came along and I finally figured out what had been missing.

She'd come and rescued me from an eternity of loneliness. Bella was my soul mate. I'd seen this idea of a "soul mate" in the minds of others before, their thoughts leading them to believe that there was only one true love for them. Fools. I had previously dismissed these musings as silly myths, but now I knew there was inherent truth to these theories.

Bella was my soul mate. I knew this now more than ever. She was my singer; her blood sang for only me. But soon that wonderful voice would be silenced. Call it fate, call it whatever you will. I was meant to be alone. This is my punishment in this life.

She sputtered as she hacked a cough out, her back arching in pain as her distressed lungs forced out short gasps. Her whole body was clammy, her clothes soaked through. Her cheeks were flushed so beautifully, as they had been without the sickness eating away at her. It was a reminder of what she had been, but now that blush was a sign of devastation. Hyperthermia.

Her body was frail, dry, withered with dehydration. Hypovolemia.

I did anything and everything in my power to remedy her, to fix her. As she started to grow more feverish, I cooled her warm head with my hands, my head, anything…I was just trying to be as close to her as possible.

How much time did she have left?

I cursed the world and whomever was damning me for tempting with fate. We were just starting to get along, why now?

_Please don't take her, I've been so good. I saved her. I was able to resist._

Yeah, I was a real fucking martyr.

Lightning crashed as the sky cackled at us, mocking me.

She was only getting worse with every passing moment. Her heart raced erratically. Tachycardia was a bad sign. Her breaths were quick and shallow. Tachypnea was always a bad sign. I could barely feel a pulse, it was thready. Her blood pressure was low as a result of the sepsis decreasing her vascular resistance. Even her blood vessels were too tired to put up a fight. She needed fluids, replacement, antibiotics, anything. But she couldn't control her swallowing; she didn't have control of any of her basic mental capacities. I wasn't going to risk aspiration, which would just be something else that would weaken her defenses. This is what it felt like to be helpless. It was only a matter of time before all of her organs started to fail from the low perfusion.

Her mind was gone. When she was conscious she was delirious, confused, agitated. She'd fought me, she'd scratched and kicked at me. I pinned her arms down to stop her from hurting herself. I was faced with the harshest of realities. Even if she did get out of this alive, she would be a mere shell of the Bella she once was. Her brain was affected, her cognition was well on its way to being destroyed.

She did say my name though. And every time that disgraced word left her lips, it was enough to keep my hope alive and damn me to the deepest hell all at once. It was probably foolish, but I would still have faith.

I should have swam, and I shouldn't have stopped until I found someone who could help her. But I couldn't leave her, I couldn't bear to disappear when she needed me most. I was much too selfish for that. I didn't want to lose any time with her. I would not let her be alone. I loved her.

I loved her. And that's why I made the decision to do the only thing that I thought could give her a chance at life.

I was going to drink her blood.

----

Was I really going to do this?

I couldn't do this.

I had to do this.

The only man who had ever attempted what I was about to try had barely been able to resist to urge to stop, and he had more compassion for humanity in his index finger than I could ever hope to have in all of eternity.

There was three scenarios. First one was the best one. I would drink enough of her blood without biting her to filter out the infection. She would then hopefully recover without incident. The second scenario saw me drinking, biting and then killing her. I would not be able to stop myself from fulfilling my primal urge. I shuddered. That was obviously not optimal. The third one, which was the least desirable, had me transforming her with my venom…

I would not let that happen.

I would not condemn her to an eternity of misery.

I fought the thoughts in my mind that created an image of Bella and I in the future, she in a long white dress standing next to me. In these fantasies, her skin would be so pale, so white, there would be no denying what she would become. Her beauty would be illuminated by the subtle changes in her features that would come with the transformation. She wouldn't change much though, she'd still be the most beautiful girl in the world to me. And she would be mine. I would be hers.

And we would live together forever.

Forever. It was not her destiny.

I carried Bella into the makeshift shelter I built from sheet metal from the plane. Gingerly laying her on her blankets, her body trembled without my skin to cool her. If it was one thing I was able to give her, it was the slight comfort from my sub-zero body. I was useful for something, I guess. I lay down next to her, pressing myself against her shivering form. My forehead was flush against hers, my body aching for her.

"_Edward…Edward…" _She repeated my name over and over, her eyes blank and stormy.

Fat droplets of rain fell atop the metal roof, a pitter-patter of echoes. Another storm. I dripped water from a soaked washcloth into her mouth. I traced my finger down her forehead, past her bleary eyes, down her sweet mouth. She twisted her body away from me, her legs kicking at the air. I had to drink soon. Time was running out.

Lightning flashed in the darkened sky outside our little hideaway. I snickered to myself, it was twilight, what was supposed to be the safest time for us. It was supposed to protect her from the dangers darkness could bring. What a load of shit that was.

I unwrapped her leg, the festering wound the likely source of the infection. The skin surrounding the cut was gangrenous and edematous. Her leg was tender, the wound was reddened and hot. Greenish-yellow pus erupted from the infection as I squeezed it lightly. I expressed the prurulent material from the deep wound to expose the jagged edges of the cut. It was a big enough laceration, no need to bite. Good, that would make it the slightest bit easier. She shook as I massaged her calf. Her skin was so hot there, but it didn't warm me like the rest of her body.

I lowered my head to her leg. Her eyes remained closed. She was finally still, and I didn't want to check if she was still breathing. My lips touched her leg and she flinched at the cold. Good, she was alive. My nostrils filled with her scent. I was finally able to pinpoint exactly what she smelled like…lavender and freesias plus the impurities in her system. I wanted to smell her the way she was before, it was going to happen. I had to believe that she would come back to me.

A tiny droplet of blood oozed out of the festinating wound. This was it. It was time.

My tongue darted out and caught it before it dribbled down her calf.

My body shook as it tried to hold itself still. Oh, shit. Yes. Hot. Cold. Muscles contracting. Go. Pain. Up. Down. Stirred. No. Relaxing. Crazy. Frenzy. Stop. Calm. Pulling. Love. Motion. Focus. Pushing. Life. Death. Monster. Laughing. Mocking.

Fuck.

Flittering images of my past flashed before me as I tasted the sweetness of the iron. Dying. Transforming. Running. Fighting. My parents. Carlisle. Bella.

A snarl that no part of me could suppress reverberated through my vocal cords. My teeth bared as my insides were slashed to pieces by a million of the dullest, most rusty blades causing a flurry of tetanic contractures.

My teeth chattered, my hands flitted left and right, grasping at the target. No concentration. I braced myself for the complete joy and despair that was to follow. My mouth latched onto her leg as I sucked, long, hard and slow. My nerves jumped around like a bunch of school children with hyperactivity syndrome…on crack. She was the sweetest, most decadent lamb I'd ever feasted on...mmm, so mouthwatering. My wildest dreams couldn't have imagined this divine taste. My eyes closed as the warmth trickled down my throat, delighting every taste bud, every axon and dendrite transmitting its wonderful deliciousness to my brain. My happy brain. I drank freely, being able to savor the nuances in her wine. There was no stopping now.

The color drained out of her face as I glanced up at her. She stared at me with a dreamy, enamored gaze. Her eyes were half closed, her breaths were even. She was at peace. She could feel no pain now.

She reached down towards me and ruffled my hair, a gesture that both assured me and mortified me.

"_love…you…"_

My head snapped up and away from her flesh. A trail of blood dribbled down my chin as I tore out of the tent and into the freezing rain. The world turned circles in my brain and I ran. I dove into the surf, swimming as quickly as possible. I had to find help and I had to find it now. Trouble was, who would it be for, her or me?

* * *

_Inspired by King of Pain by the Police, Karma Police by Radiohead, Time is Running Out by Muse_


	8. i'm afflicted, you're addicted

_A/N: Another chapter to catch up with those on . Thanks for the reviews and story/author alerts, keep them coming!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the book, movie, songs or lyrics._

_Rating: T to M, for language/adult situations._

**Flight 5107**

_Chapter Eight: i'm afflicted, you're addicted_

_BPOV_

Everything was so fuzzy, blurry. My eyelids were weights that I was not strong enough to overcome. I was obtunded, but yet I could make out spinning colors like I was on some sort of endless carnival ride. Shadows and figures moved around me, casting swirling shadows and enveloping me in their haze. My head ached. There was a churning in the depth of my stomach, the peristaltic waves threatening to reverse their natural course and send me retching again. I tried to swallow but my tongue was a piece of cardboard in my mouth. I coughed instead. Everything was too dark. Why couldn't I see? Why couldn't I open my eyes?

Memories flashed in my head, but I couldn't connect them all together. The plane. The fire. Forks. The airport. Phoenix. Everything was jumbled and warped inside my mind, a slideshow that was all out of order.

Out of all the confusing imagery that was swimming around in my head, there was one image that was completely clear.

Edward.

_I was on the ground, my butt hurt. Edward had dropped me. He hadn't dropped me from that far though, how had I lost consciousness? I know I should have tried to get up, tried to move, but I didn't. Edward hated me, I hated me. I wanted to just sit here and die. ___

_He turned back, looking like he was more pissed at himself than at me. His figure was glowing, like he was standing in front of a portal of light or something. His facial features were dark, sinister. He held his hand out to me, but I refused to take it. I squint my eyes at him, if he was just doing this out of courtesy, he could shove it. I didn't need any more false pretenses from this man. _

_The crows feet around his eyes softened then and I thought I saw a glimmer of something kind in his eyes. Maybe he didn't hate me? Maybe there was something still there for me? No, I knew there was something between us. I just wished I hadn't completely fucked things up. He pulled me up, his forearm muscles strong and taut. Even after a devastating plane crash, he was still unbelievably gorgeous. _

_His hand was cold, and I couldn't hold onto it for very long. We walked in silence, our thoughts like an ominous cloud over us. As he sped up, my head filled with the memory of Charlie and Renee. Would I ever see them again? Would I ever see anything other than this island?_

_My eyes watered and I sniffed, not being able to hold back the tears now. _  
  
No.

Chills sent a shiver through my body. No, that wasn't the complete story. It was starting to come back to me. I was stuck on this island with Edward. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it being stuck. That word made it sound like some sort of punishment, when in reality, it was the exact opposite. He saved me, he gave me a second chance.

Right?

We'd made up. Hadn't we? Edward didn't hate me anymore, I'd apologized. Things had been starting to improve between us. He promised me he would not leave. Where was he? I cursed at the darkness. My eyelids still refused to budge. It was like they were melted shut. I tried to focus myself on another task, but quickly saw my attempts to move were futile. My body was not yet ready.

My breath started to quicken as the panic set. I wanted to scream, but had no voice. Please let him still be here. Please let me see him again. What had happened? Why couldn't I remember? My brain's fog refused to lift, but I concentrated hard anyway. What was happening to me? This was real, he was real, wasn't he?

Had I made that whole thing up?

Maybe I was dead. I had died in the crash after all. It was foolish of me to think that I, Bella Swan, could have survived such a catastrophic event…it went against the rules of nature. Was this some sort of purgatory? This was the cruel place where I was supposed to feel remorse?

Not likely. Being stranded on an island with a man who surpassed all of my dreams and expectations was surely not designed to make me suffer. And it certainly would not make me any more pure or cleansed.

I felt my heartbeat drum out a fast paced beat causing a sharp ache in my chest. I was not dead. At least not yet. I was very much alive, and very much aware that I could not have made Edward up. He was real. It was an undeniable fact that my imagination was not that creative. Whenever I'd visualized my dream man in the past, I'd dreamt of Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp, but now even they seemed absolutely ordinary in comparison. No, Edward was not a fabrication. I couldn't even explain his mercurial eye color, which instantly changed from light straw color to pitch black, nevertheless make it up. And what of all of the other qualities that made up his perfection? The unyieldingly smooth, unmarred, porcelain skin, his radiant smile, and the rusty unkempt hair. Maybe he _was_ too good to be true. But he was certainly real.

The visualization of him brought a lazy smile to my face. The pictures started to piece themselves back into place. I had said I was sorry, and he forgave me. I remembered now, his face at that moment was unforgettable. His hands ghosted on my chin as his glowing eyes gazed into mine. He cared about me.

I felt a warmth creep across my chest and rise up to my face. Surely, the feelings I felt were real. I'd never felt them before with anyone else, so how could I have made them up? That would be impossible. Only he was able to make me feel this way; he made me feel new. Why was the memory so faded though, hadn't all of this just happened?

How long had it been since the plane crash?

I had to have some answers; I had to see his face before mine to placate my jumbled mind. I finally forced my eyes open, but my vision was blurred beyond recognition. There was no sensation, even though I was conscious that my arms and legs were starting to move about. My body was heavy; I had no control over it. Why was this happening to me?

I felt his cool hand brushing my hair away from my neck.

My breath calmed as I became suddenly aware that he was here with me. His presence could not be denied. I tried to speak to him, but all that escaped from my mouth was a fountain of gibberish. What was wrong with me?

It was so hot, I was aware that I was sweating and that I couldn't cool down. Even with his cool skin on mine, it was still too hot. It was also uncomfortably dry. And the pain, it was everywhere. I ached all over, a dull, bothersome feeling in all of my joints and muscles.

I was acutely aware of his hands lightly touching my back, sending a shiver down my spine. God, he smelled like a fresh fruit basket. Was he holding a secret supply of cologne somewhere on the island? I was not worthy of this perfection.

My breath was deep, but labored and I could feel the sweat starting to bead up by my temples. The sand moved beneath me, swirling about and confusing me. It was really cold now. He was leaning into me, his breath cooling my face. His hard lips brushed against my jaw line, lingering around my mouth.

_Kiss me, Edward. _

I wanted to feel the firmness of his lips on mine. He would feel like ice.

I could feel his lips crushing into mine. His hands ran roughly through my hair, pulling me close, the heat between us resplendent. I reached out for him, to hold him to me, but I felt nothing. My hands flailed around in the air in front of me. I could not feel him next to me. How did he move so quickly?

I felt the slightest of frost nip at my cheeks. He was so close to me. I yearned to speak, to whisper his name so that he would not leave.

My hands blindly grabbed at the air again, needing to feel the softness of his hair and pull him back to my lips, but I couldn't touch him. He wasn't there.

NO. NO!

That had to be real! I willed my eyes to snap open again and this time they obliged. My mouth parted in surprised as it took in the sight before me.

His lips lingered above my own, hesitating to meet mine. They brushed against mine lightly, feeling like a cool mist that immediately melted on my lips.

I couldn't be sure now if this was real or if it was a figment of my overactive imagination. I wanted it to be real, but now that thoughts of kissing him were so fresh in my mind, I had to call into questions the other visions I'd had. I had no control. I couldn't make sense of reality versus fantasy. It was frightening me, how I was slipping away from him. I could feel myself getting more frustrated with every passing second. I couldn't see him in front of me anymore, but I knew there was a place I could go to see him. My eyes gently shut again, and I prayed that the vision of Edward would return.

I was suddenly very dizzy, like I had gotten up too quickly. Except that I hadn't moved. There was an ache, a pull, something that was gnawing at me, draining me. I breathed deeply feeling like someone was pressing on my chest and preventing me from getting air. I could not control the moans of pain erupting from my mouth. It hurt, why was it hurting so badly?

I tried to sit up, although, something was holding me down. My eyes flipped open suddenly, and the blurriness was fading. Everything was so clear, it was shocking.

His eyes were now sinister and dark. He was leaning down by my shins, holding them close to his head. It felt good to have his cold breath against my heated skin. He was kissing my leg and I vaguely put two and two together. He was why my body was feeling so strange. The smile that played on my lips when I first saw him quickly disappeared. The pain. What was that? It felt like a vacuum had latched on and was stealing the wind from my lungs, the beats from my heart, the acid from my stomach. I was being robbed of life.

His eyes quickly flickered over mine, but he must not have liked what he saw, as he clenched his eyes shut quickly. His face was abnormally calm for someone who was slowing killing me, but I loved it anyway.

Screams escaped from my mouth, tears escaped from underneath my eyelids. Pain seared through my body, making me tremble and wish I were dead so that it could be over.

My body was on fire and then it was ice cold. Even though everything had become so clear, it was soon becoming hard to concentrate again. I lost control of my thoughts again and they were just a blur of colorful ideas. I just felt so tired, so worn out. I wanted to sleep forever. I wanted to be in his arms forever, safe.

And then it ended.

---

When I woke the second time, he was gone. My leg throbbed, but I felt so much better. My skin was no longer as flushed, and I wasn't shivering. Best of all, I was completely cognizant of my surroundings. Everything was clear enough to realize that the one I adored was missing from my side.

I looked at my injured leg, the pus had been drained, the skin was no longer swollen and hot. A miracle? I stood up quickly, hoping to find Edward outside, but my balance failed me. I guess I was still pretty weak.

Crawling on all fours, I was determined to get outside. Slowly, I made it, only to be disappointed when I didn't see him there. He had to be here somewhere, maybe he was off finding more food or something. I lay on the damp sand and waited.

And waited.

It was nightfall before I woke up again. Still no sign of him. I had to find food somehow, I was famished. My legs bucked underneath me as I tried to get up, but somehow I made it, though not very far. He'd given me strength and food and all of the other things I needed to survive. I needed him. Where was he?

Instead of taking another step, I just sat back down on the sand to rest. Where was I, and how come no one had come to find us yet?

His breath was sharp as he inhaled. My weary head lifted to see him emerge from the water.

"Bella!" His voice was full of relief and joy. He ran to me, and threw his arms around me, holding me tight to him. He was cold, but I was getting used to it. Actually, nothing felt better than him next to me. He pulled away slightly and looked at me in awe, shaking his head slightly.

"Where were you?" I whispered. His eyes were the warm honey tone that delighted and excited me. I wished I could just melt into him and be apart of him.

"I went out to search for other islands. I had to find you help. I didn't think you were going to make it." He squeezed me tightly in his arms and I never felt so right.

"But I did because of you. Edward, please don't leave me again. I was so scared."

"You're here because of me," he said as he bowed his head in shame.

"Edward, promise you won't leave, okay? I don't want you to go..." My voice cracked and the tears threatened to fall again.

He shook his head, his eyes mirroring a deep pain. He sighed in defeat, "Well, like I said before, where else would I go?" He placed his head against mine, and softly kissed my cheek. Oh, the frost burned, but it felt good.

But wait…

"Did you try to swim to another island?" It didn't make sense to me.

He quickly recovered, but I still saw a glimpse of a shocked expression that told me he had a big secret. "Bella, you're tired. You've been very sick."

"I saw you coming out of the water…I…you were…my leg. Wait, how did you get the metal for the hut on the beach?"

He looked troubled for a few minutes, and I thought he'd forgotten I had even asked a question. "Bella, trust me. I'll explain everything - just give me until tomorrow okay? I'll show you everything. But, you need to rest now. I don't think you're completely recovered, and you need to eat something to get your strength up."

"But…" I started, thinking of something else.

"Bella," he warned, his lips curling into a teeth baring snarl. My eyes must have widened because his whole lovely face softened. "Bella, I need you to know that I won't hurt you. Can you do that?"

"I'm not afraid of you," I shared equivocally, unsure of my own thoughts.

His eyes were no longer trained upon mine, but he was staring off into the water. He was so silent, so still that I thought maybe he hadn't heard me. My hands found the edge of his shoulder blade, tracing a soft line on his firm skin.

He flinched away from my touch. "Maybe you should be."

His statement was simple, yet laced with an underlying warning that was not lost upon me. What was so terrifying about him that he felt he had to protect me from it? What was it about him to whom I was drawn? I don't care how many warnings he provided, I would not take heed. I was stupid like that. He was dense if he believed that I would easily surrender and be less intrigued by him.

I touched his jaw and his chin and pulled him gently into me. His body was stiff, like he didn't want to concede. I gripped at him tighter. He was what I needed. He saved me. He kept me alive. He made me question and believe and hope. He made me brave. So whatever it was that was holding him back, I didn't care.

He was mine and I was his. Here in this moment, nothing else existed but us. Not fear, not confusion. There was only one thing running through my mind as all of the fog and mist cleared up from being down for so long. Only one thought existed in my head and it was of him and me together.

"Edward?" I breathed, my head brushing against his chin.

"What, Bella?"

"No matter what you are or what you've done, I don't care."

"Bella, don't…" The creases in his forehead appeared again.

"No, you don't. I need to tell you that whatever it is, it doesn't matter to me. As long as you're with me, as long as you're here, I don't care. I know you think that whatever you have to say will scare me away, but it won't. Trust me. Nothing you could say could push me away."

"I wouldn't make that statement until you know all the facts."

"Why do you think that I could feel anything less than what I feel for you now?"

"You can't begin to understand the things you don't know."

"Then why don't you explain it to me? I'm not some sort of simpleton. I don't think it'll be too much over my head. Unless it's something wrong with me." I tried to control my tone, but even I could hear the scowl in my voice.

"What? How could you think that?" His shocked expression surprised me. I'd never seen him react to anything like that. His cool exterior was finally broken. "How could you think that my actions are a reflection of you? That is preposterous. Don't be foolish."

"So you do think I'm some sort of fool."

He exhaled deeply, closing his eyes in frustration. His hand found the roundness of my cheek and cooled my flush immediately. His other hand quickly swiped through his hair, mussing it so perfectly that I almost forgot how aggravating he was being. His eyes flipped open and his tawny eyes sparkled. "Bella, I did not mean to imply that you wouldn't understand, you are smart and lovely and your mind is beautiful. But, please, for me, just leave this for now. I will, I told you I will when the time is right. Can't we just enjoy the fact that you're headed towards convalescence?"

I crossed my arms in mock defiance as I relented and let him kiss my forehead. "I suppose you won't cave tonight."

"No, I won't."

"Tomorrow, you will tell me everything."

He hesitated, looking away. I crossed my arms over my chest. He exhaled deeply and replied softly, "Yes."

We sat there listening to the crush of the ocean's waves as they crashed upon the sand. My head rested against his shoulder and I marveled at how delicate yet strong his features were. My eyes traced imaginary lines up his neck to his chiseled jaw. Flawless. He sighed softly as his fingers ghosted along my spinal column.

"What it is, Edward? Ready to talk?"

The lines around his eyes crinkled as he feigned disapproval.

"No, not yet. Patience is a virtue."

"You're obviously thinking very hard about something. I'm not a mind reader you know."

"Really? Interesting, I was beginning to think you had some extraordinary power that was allowing you to see right through me."

"Don't try to turn this back onto me. Spill it."

"I was just thinking about something you just said."

"And what was that?"

"You asked if I thought you could feel anything less than what you feel about me."

My cheeks were instantly warm. I hated how he paid the utmost attention to every detail.

"Yes," I quietly agreed.

"I was wondering, what it is that you feel for me?" His eyes smoldered and I blinked quickly several times in succession to try and remember the question.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" I tried to un-cast myself from the spell he'd placed on me.

"The question?"

"Oh, sorry…" I muttered.

"Now who isn't speaking her mind? Cat got your tongue, Bella?"

"Umm, no, I just…it's a little embarrassing."

"How so?" His eyes bored into mine, and I had to look anywhere else but at them.

He took my hand in his and stroked tiny circles on it with a feather touch. "Well, it's petrifying to think that you might not feel the same."

"I can guarantee you that will not be the case."

"You don't even know what I'm going to say. Who thinks they're the mind reader now?"

"Hmm, well it would be make it very easy if that were the case. I'm usually good at reading people, but you, Bella Swan, are a mystery. I told you that before on the plane, and it is truer now than ever."

"Okay, well what do you think I feel for you?"

"Irritation?" he conjectured with a wink.

"Sometimes."

"Aggravation," he offered slyly with a soft smile.

"Most definitely."

"Abhorrence?" he asked with the slightest hint of uncertainty. Alert the presses, Edward Cullen unsure of himself? I didn't know him that well, but I had a feeling this was the rarest of occurrences.

"Never," I replied assuredly, smirking in the knowledge that I actually had the upper hand for once.

"Never? That's very confident of you." The corner of his lip rose, flashing me that dazzling crooked smile of his.

I rolled my eyes at the return of the smugness. "Well, don't push it."

I leaned my head back onto his shoulder. He stiffened and I looked back up at him. His eyes were serious. "Bella, all kidding aside, I have to know. What do you feel for me?"

It was a few moments before I could collect my thoughts. We'd been dancing around our feelings the whole time we'd been here, however long that was. It was time for some honesty.

I started slowly, picking up speed as my confidence increased. "I've never felt like this about anyone, and I don't use these terms lightly. You make me feel this…like…uncertainty, this twisting of my stomach, all the time, and it scares me but it excites me."

"You feel uncertain about me?" His brow furrowed.

"No, definitely not...it's not an uncertainty about you. It's just a manifestation of my mental state, like butterflies in my stomach."

"I don't understand."

"I'm not even sure I understand it. I've never felt this way about anyone before. You make me nervous, but happy. I mean, I like the way you make me feel. It's like…you're really going to think I'm foolish now with my yammering. You are…I just…I think I love you."

* * *

_Inspired by Infected by Bad Religion, Save Me by Aimee Mann, All These Things I've Done by the Killers_


	9. tell me your secrets

_A/N: First off, I want to thank all the readers of this story for being so awesome. I am blown away by the response I have gotten for this story in the past few days. It became my most favorited and alerted story on , and I got a ton of alerts, favorites and reviews which absolutely make my day. Trust me, my life/job sucks right now, so I'll take the little bits of happiness where I can get them. Since I don't really have time to be apart of any groups or sites or anything and I am not able to pimp my little story out very much, I'm very surprised you all have found it. Thanks! Actually, I'm really surprised and curious to hear how you have found this story, since there are a ton of stories out there, especially on this site, so please drop me a line and let me know how you found it, whether by word of mouth or just randomly...I really want to know. I also want to thank **HeatherA9**, who left very thoughtful reviews of every chapter. I read all of them after being in the hospital for almost 40 hours, so they definitely made my post-call day a little less shitty._

_Thanks again, and with that little blurb, here's the next chapter that almost catches with . Pssst...If you can't wait for the next chapter, I'll give you a heads up, I've already submitted it at Twilighted, so it should be up, if it isn't already._

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the book, movie, songs or lyrics.

Rating: T to M, for language and mature situations

**Flight 5107**

_Chapter 9: tell me your secrets, ask me your questions_

EPOV

For an entire twenty-four hour period, I raced around trying to find a human life form. Nothing. Where the fuck were we? I found nothing but stupid deserted islands with no trace of human blood. It was maddening.

I shouldn't have left her. She would be dead by now, I was sure. But at least I resisted the need to bite, to fill her with my venom. The hunger for her blood still quaked inside me, the yearning propelling me to keep searching for someone, anyone who could help me. Now if I did find someone, I'd have to fight the urge to kill them, too. Great.

Discouraged by my lack of seeking ability, I swam back to our little island. I had no trouble finding that, I just had to follow Bella's scent. It lingered in my nostrils even hours after I'd left, mocking me for my stupidity and weakness.

I heard it before I saw her, the encouraging heartbeat, and the thump against her chest wall. It was rhythmic and beautiful. She lay on the beach, her hair splayed over the sand, hiding her face from me.

And when I saw that face it was like a thousand stars shined on me. Bella. Alive. Well.

_Be well, my love._

When she fell into my arms then, I knew I was meant to love this woman. I was surprised to find that her touch no longer stung me as badly as it had before, my body having consumed her blood. Now she was a part of me, and I a part of her. I caressed her hair as I held her close to me, I never wanted to let go. I took a long look at her, amazed I was able to save her. I was amazed that she had made it through. Extraordinary, that's what she was.

What was even more extraordinary was her admission to me that she loved me. The empty hole in my chest swelled with emotions I didn't think I could ever have. It was the greatest exultation and joy I'd ever experienced. Those five little words, "I think I love you." Five words had brought me to my knees, handing over what was left of my sanity to this woman.

This beautiful, bright, encouraging, red-blooded woman. Fate is cruel.

I loved her back and that is why I would not deny her anything. I would tell her everything. And inevitably when she found out the truth and ran, I would let her because I only wanted the best for her. And I was certainly not what was best. I would do anything to keep her safe, even if it meant making the greatest sacrifice…leaving her so that she would be protected from the ultimate evil. Me.

It was selfish of me to come back in the first place. What was I expecting? If she was dead, I would have drank her blood. I was not that strong and I was mentally fatigued from resisting. If she were alive, and we were somehow rescued off this godforsaken island, I wouldn't be able to stay with her. She deserved much more than me, an immortal who could give her no future.

I was going to get Bella off this island, alive, if it was the last thing I was ever going to do. I'd already kept her from too many of her loved ones. It wasn't fair to her. I couldn't keep her from living her life. She could have a chance at a life without me. I was only hindering her.

The fact that she was alive now brought on a new set of problems. She was far too perceptive, she knew too much. And now she demanded answers. I'd fought off her questioning for one night, but she was expectant and obstinate and she would get her way.

I wanted to be honest, but I was frightened of how she would react. She promised me that she did not care, that the truth did not matter, but I knew better than that. She would shy away from the killer in me. They all did.

Her words caused more fear in me than consolation. She spoke of loving me, believing in me, wanting me, but I could not believe it. I knew secondhand how an admission of love between vampire and human could go. If it could ruin a greater man than myself, then it would surely ruin me.

It was the 1970s, a horrible time by all accounts, and we had been living in Oregon, just north of the California border. Jasper had been enraptured by a free-spirited college student who seemed to equally share his adoration. They'd been taken with each other from the beginning, he by her blood, she by his relaxed, handsome disposition. They became inseparable, even though we had previously thought it damn near impossible for Jasper to control his urges around humans. He had been the most recent addition to our clan, and he thirsted for human blood more than all of us combined. At least until she came along.

She was one of those rare beings who did not shy away from us. He believed himself to be in love with her, although I suspect that had more to do with the strength he gained from being able to restrain himself around her. Eventually, his feelings grew so deep for her that he felt it necessary to make her knowledgeable of our condition.

She'd never thought we were that different than any of the other weirdos running around that era. In contrast to Bella, she was not very perceptive as she did not wonder why we never ate around her, why Jasper never went out during the daytime. She just let him love her unconditionally. And he did, and he wanted to share his life with her; he wanted to transform her. He truly believed that when he told her, she would agree to be with him as a vampire. That she would leave everything behind to just be with him forever. Literally.

But still, he wanted to give her the option. When he finally confessed his true self to her, she'd balked, thinking he was playing some sort of trick on her. She accused him of trying to turn her against him so that he could leave easily. She'd called him a liar. He did what he had to convince her. He showed her his powers, and she'd run away, thinking she'd lost her mind.

And he lost his. He didn't speak for a year at least. He holed himself up in his room, save for the occasional trip to feed. He kept all his emotions bottled up, making him more volatile. Eventually as time passes, so do emotions. Feelings get replaced, bitterness seems petty and life carries on.

Even so, I knew he still kept tabs on her. He'd never gotten over her completely. He'd never gotten over the rejection. She'd gotten over him, gotten married, had a few children and grandchildren. As her mind slowly deteriorated from old age, she rarely thought about that era long ago with the beautiful, dangerous man with whom she'd once loved deeply.

I now knew how that was like, to feel that someone loved you so much that they'd do anything for you, to be with you. But, it is easy to be misled by words. It is not so easy to be repaired after your heart has been broken. Jasper has spent the majority of his years wandering the earth searching for something he knows he will not find again. His heart.

I was not afraid for my own heart, but for hers. I could take it if she wished to leave me, but I would not be able to handle if I hurt her.

I had to prepare myself for the worst case scenario. If Bella rejected me, it would hurt, but if she didn't, that would be much more painful. Because then the ball would be in my court, and I would have to leave her. She deserved to have a family with beautiful children. She deserved to live a long, happy life.

"Edward…" she moaned, rolling onto her side. Her scent wrapped around me as she took small breaths. I caressed her back lightly, my fingertips burning with need.

I would miss this. Watching her sleep fitfully while her subconscious spoke my name. It was demoralizing to think that she thought of me just as much as I thought of her. I crept out of the tent and went down to the beach to recover myself. It was difficult to not touch her all the time.

"Edward?" she whispered and I was by her side in a moment.

"What is it, Bella? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she muttered sleepily. "I thought you'd gone."

"Don't be paranoid, go back to sleep."

She leaned her head against my skin and sighed. Could it get better?

"I'm not tired," she said with a yawn. "I want to stay out here with you."

"It's cold," I chided. She snuggled herself further into my shoulder, wrapping her arms around me. Her lips were dangerously close to my neck. Her hot breaths flamed against it. I ceased my breathing to ease the longing I felt in the pit of my abdomen.

"Bella," I warned. She did not listen. Her fingers traced lazy circles on my back as she knelt on her knees. Her arms looped around my neck and I could not resist anymore. The proximity was electrifying. "Please."

"No," she whispered, placing a tiny kiss on my cheek.

"You're killing me."

"So you know what it feels like for a change." Her hands dipped down to my low back and she pressed herself against my side, her breaths now hot on my ears. "Can I kiss you, Edward?"

I did not answer, and she did not wait. Her hand found the back of my neck, pushing herself against my lips. I tightened my throat and my mouth, not allowing a drop of venom to escape. God how wonderful this felt. It was everything I'd imagined and more. She moved her body so that she was sitting in my lap, and I forced her back so that she was a safe distance away.

Her brow furrowed in confusion as she spoke, "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted…like I did, I'm sorry."

She pulled away quickly, trying to scramble up. "Bella, I want this more than you will ever know. I'm too afraid of being myself around you, you must understand that by now," I muttered apologetically.

She pouted, her lower lip slightly trembling. She huffed, "All I understand is that I put my feelings out there on the line, and I didn't get any sort of confirmation. I guess this is confirmation enough."

I cocked my head and looked at her in the dim moonlight. She was still unsure of how I felt. How strange of her, I thought it was clear as day how I loved her. I racked my brain of our conversation, and I realized I had not given her the verbal confirmation she'd needed. Humans could not read minds, and to her, I must be a complete vacillating fool with my actions. I'd screamed my love for her from the rooftops in my head, but I had not admitted my feelings outright to her.

"Bella, don't be silly. I want to show you how much I care for you, but you have to let me lead."

I tested myself with a light brush of my lips against hers. Her eyes were closed tight as we both reveled in the intensity of such a small gesture. Her hands ran through my hair, urging me on, championing me. I mimed her movements, letting her hair cascade through my fingers, feeling the contours of her scalp as I lightly massaged her lips with my own.

Her breathing picked up as did the force of her lips upon mine. I moved my hands down to her shoulders to keep her in place. No sudden movements from either of us. I reminded myself that I could break every bone in her body with a poorly placed nudge or squeeze. She fought me to deepen the kiss, her eyes opening and staring at mine with a frenzied look of heightened enthusiasm.

Lust, how I lusted for her, and she for me.

She let a moan escape from her lips, and that set me off. To think that I could make her feel pleasure was so stupendous a feeling, I wasn't sure there was a word to describe it.

My lips crashed against hers, eliciting another moan from her depths. So soft, so slight. I wondered how I must have felt to her, was it like kissing a concrete wall? Her hands tangled themselves into my hair, holding my lips to hers. She bit lightly on my bottom lip causing a surge of pleasure to envelope me. Her warm tongue wanted to slip inside and twist itself looking for its partner, but I would not let it. She pushed herself on top of me, trying to pin me down.

The monster wickedly laughed as he imagined me sucking the blood from her lingual artery. All I had to do was bite her tongue.

_Oh fuck._

He was back, and back with a vengeance. Now that I'd had a sample of her blood, now that I had kissed her lips…he wanted more. And he was not going to go down without a fight. He would not be denied.

I imagined her lying there, her neck exposed to me, aching to touch and kiss me as I sunk my canines into her flesh, ripping open the carotids and jugulars so that I could drink twice as fast. Where would I hit next? Her vertebral arteries or the basilar? Cutting off all the blood to her brain? Or would I go to her aorta, the largest artery of all, filled with freshly oxygenated blood. Oh that would taste so nice, not bitter like venous blood.

Or I could also take my time and go for the smaller vessels, dorsalis pedis in her feet, the popliteals behind the knees…mmm…up to the femorals. This time it would taste so much better. The sheer brutality of the act would make it all worth it. I smiled subconsciously, baring my teeth.

What the fuck was I thinking?

I pushed her off of me in one swoop of my arms. She fell back against the sand, dazed and shocked.

"I'm sorry, Bella. We can't do this…not right now," I insisted, hoping that the pleading in my voice would discourage her.

Her eyes flashed as she questioned, "Why not? I swear I'm not weak, I've never felt better."

"Just trust me, okay?" I begged.

She angrily spat, "You say that a lot."

"Because I want you to believe it." As much as I want to believe it. "Go back to the tent and lay down," I commanded lightly.

She sniffed at me before turning to the shack. I grabbed her hand and jerked her back gently, letting go as I immediately heard the monster cackle in my ears.

"Oh, and if it wasn't clear to you, I love you. More than you will ever comprehend."

Her brow furrowed at first, but then her eyes sparkled with glee. Her wide smile was enough to kill me. That was confirmation enough. I now lived to make her heart smile. I could die happy knowing that I had the love of this girl and she had mine in return. I would die as the monster internally tore me apart.

----

I had the entire night to ponder how strange and wonderful it felt to be in love. Bella was now my everything, my life, and I would do nothing but protect her.

Except that I was taunted by thoughts of me sucking the life out of her until there wasn't a drop left, not even in her marrow.

_Sick bastard. _

I hated the irony in the fact that she needed protection from me the most. But the present danger was clearer to me now than ever before. It scared me shitless that the monster within returned last night when we kissed. He had been absent for so long, I was hoping he'd stay forgotten, buried.

_Stupid fucking eternal damnation._

She slept so soundly, my angel.

"Hi," she yawned, stretching on the little mat. Her head raised and exposed a huge grin upon her still sleepy face.

"Morning sunshine, did you sleep well?" My tone was decidedly too cheery for what I was about to knowingly do.

She nodded, her tangled hair sticking up every which way, contradicting her statement. I knew she had tossed and turned in the night, quivering in her dreams. "How could I not with you beside me?"

I winced at the irony. "Hold that thought. Are you hungry?"

"I could eat. But what I really want are some answers," she replied, crossing her arms.

I sighed, "You didn't forget."

"I didn't forget," she echoed. "I want to know, Edward, I want to know everything."

"Okay. Well, let's get something to eat," I offered as I led her out of our shelter, her tiny hand fitting perfectly in mine.

"Don't try to distract me, or change the subject. If there's something wrong, I want to know. We've already been through it all, you don't think I can handle it?" she teased, a small smile appearing on her lips.

"I'm not trying to distract you, now what do you want, coconut milk?" I dropped her hand and raced up the nearest palm tree and back down, tossing a coconut at her feet. "Or fresh berries?" I ran around the island wantonly, returning with bunches of wild berries. "Or would you rather have some more seafood?" I jumped into the water nervously laughing at her gaping mouth. A fish flopped around in my hands as I emerged from the water seconds later.

I waited for her to say something. Anything.

"So that's how you've fished," she stated plainly. Her eyes met mine, and I couldn't read them. I'd never wished for my mind reading ability to work more than now. What was she really thinking? Was that really her response? Not shock horror? Not pure repugnancy towards me?

Instead of the desired affect, she looked even more curious. Even more in awe. This was a bad thing. Her lips curled up in an amused smile.

"Is that all? Did I not even impress you?" I implored, hoping to find some confirmation of my status as a horrifying character.

She shook her head and shrugged. "I must be dead. That is the only explanation. I'm dead…or I'm hallucinating. Did you give me some wild mushrooms to eat? There's no way you could be that fast, I'm imagining it. My head injury must have been a lot worse than I thought…" she rambled, picking herself up to stand.

I chuckled. She was ridiculous. "I just climbed a thirty foot tree, ran a dozen laps around the island, and swam at the speed of light and you think there's something wrong with you? You are too much, Miss Swan."

"But, people don't just do that. You can't just do that," she balked.

"What, do this?" I rushed past her in a blur. "Or this?" I grabbed a tree trunk and hurled it about three hundred feet into the water. I'll admit, I wanted to show her how foolish it was to trust me. And at the same time, the macho guy in me needed her to be impressed. I grinned hugely, and noticed that her eyes were slightly bugged and that she had made no move to come near me.

Finally, I scared some sense into her. My brutish strength must have looked terrifying. Good.

I stepped forward and took her hand into mine. I whispered, "Bella, I'm not like you. I think you're beginning to grasp that."

She gulped and nodded. "So, what are you like Bruce Wayne? Peter Parker?" she asked.

"That's comic book stuff, right?" I lowered my voice even though there was no one else around…mostly for dramatic effect I guess. "What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm the bad guy?"

"You're not," she countered quickly.

I ignored her statement. Foolish girl. "There are things about me that make me dangerous. You have got to be careful around me."

"You keep saying that, but all I've seen you do is run really fast and climb up a tree. Not so scary. I trust you," she stated firmly. She trusted me? Even after she saw what I was capable of?

"Don't." I slowly walked away from her, my head hung down. "Bella, I don't know how I was able to control myself, but I'm tired of trying to deny you, trying to close myself off to you."

"Don't," she whimpered.

"I won't," I murmured. "Just as a warning, it would be prudent for you to be cautious around me."

"I've never been one to follow warnings," she reminded as she looked down at her battered body.

"It's best if you just be careful."

"Here you go again with these cryptic remarks. Why are you so insistent that you know what's best for me?" she interrogated.

I explained calmly, "Because I'm not good for you."

"You saved my life, not once, but twice. Why don't you let me be the judge of what's good for me and what isn't."

"You don't know the whole story. It is foolish of you to trust me. It is foolish of me to keep leading you down the wrong path," I reasoned.

She wrinkled her nose. "You're the one who is wrong; I've never felt like this about anyone. And I have never been more sure of anything in my life. So you run fast, so you're strong, there are worse things in the world."

"Don't be flippant, Bella. I'm serious. This is not a trifling matter. I am capable of much more sinister things. Everything about me invites you in, and I've been strong, but I don't know how much stronger I can be around you. I don't know how I've been able to resist for so long."

Suddenly my insides panicked. Shit. Sunlight. The clouds shifted and let a single ray of sunshine in, which of course found its way to put me in the harsh spotlight. I could feel the light radiating off my body in a billion tiny crystals; I could see it reflected in Bella's eyes. Eyes that were widening at the prospect of seeing me like this. I had never shown any human this side of me.

"Your skin…looks like diamonds." She reached to touch the exposed skin at my collarbone, but I denied her the contact.

"Bella, this is what I am. I'm a monster. This is the skin of a monster."

"No. You don't intimidate me anymore, I know how caring you are...you love me."

"Bella, I've killed people, I've done things that should be left unspoken forever, things that haunt me. Things that should make you hate me."

"Like I said yesterday, I'm not afraid of you." I could see she was lying.

"You should be. For your own sake, you should be terribly afraid." I clasped my head in my hands as the waves of repulsion coursed in my hollow body. As I sat myself down, she kneeled down next to me and put her hand close to mine. She hesitated before she placed it over mine.

"Edward, the only thing I'm afraid of is not being able to be with you. I feel like you're going to disappear. And I don't want you to."

"Bella, I should have left a long time ago. By now I would have been able to get help for you. You would be off this island, and it would have been a million times safer for you. But, I was selfish and I wanted to be around you too much. I couldn't leave you for too long. I couldn't bear it. And in that egotistical gesture, I've endangered you beyond imagination."

She gently touched my exposed skin over where my heart should have been. It felt like a thousand fireworks were set off in my head. I loved every second of her hand on my skin. "You don't know how divine that feels, that warmth. I've been cold for far too long," I shared quietly.

It was so hard though…his laughter rang in my throbbing head. I have never hated myself more.

"You won't hurt me." As if to show me how much faith she had in me, she pushed my arms open and wrapped herself around my still body, sitting herself in my lap. I pushed her off forcefully.

"Bella, the need is an immeasurable times more potent now. I wish I could swear under oath that I won't hurt you, but I can't. I know I said that yesterday, but things have changed inside me and I can't fight it. I will do everything in my power to protect you, but I cannot guarantee anything. It is too difficult to be around you."

"Edward, you kissed me and you were able to fight it. I know you can do it. I know it may sound crazy because we hardly know each other, but I just knew when I saw you. I knew you were important, and now I realize just exactly how important you are and how much I need you. If I was going to run away, if I was truly frightened, I would have attempted to escape even though there was no where else to go. Whatever it is…you can tell me. I trust you, but I don't think you trust me. And I don't care if you're an alien or a zombie, it doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter? It doesn't matter if I'm a monster? If I'm not human?" I exclaimed.

The muscles in her jaw tightened. Liar. "No, all that matters is that you're here with me, and I'm here with you. I'm willing to risk my life by staying here because you're here and I won't leave you."

My voice turned pleading again. "Bella, please…"

"Edward. Tell me…I think I have a right to know what I'm up against. Come on, just tell me." She reached for my hand and I flinched away.

Fuck it.

"Vampire," I snickered, turning away from her. "I'm a vampire."

* * *

_  
Inspired by The Scientist by Coldplay, Policy of Truth by Depeche Mode, and Starlight by Muse_

_I'm a busy girl, and I actually haven't read much Twilight fanfic out there (I've read and loved Wide Awake, which I think probably everyone has read) which is probably surprising, but I want to start reading some high quality stuff, so if anyone has any recommendations, I'd love to hear them! As you can probably tell, I don't have many friends who are into Twilight, or I'd probably have the answer to that question already. And remember, reviews are love! _


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